Chaos Theory
by Kirii
Summary: Chaos reigns when a college student finds herself thrown into Kingdom Hearts. She joins Sora, Donald and Goofy in their quest, much to their horror. MarySue Parody, Crack, will have yaoi
1. Prologue: It Begins

_**Author's Note:** This is a fic in which I mock Mary-Sues, although it's nothing like **Can't Take 'Em Anymore**. Instead, I'm placing myself in as the Sue and just making a complete mockery of Mary-Sues.  
**Warnings:** In general, bad humor, shonen-ai, shojo-ai, and me.  
**Disclaimer:** Hey, I don't even own myself anymore._

Prologue: It Begins

The girl had been sitting at her computer all morning, working on various projects, including, but not limited to, fanfiction, HTML coding, and homework. She had tied her MP3 player to the belt loop of her jeans and was listening contentedly to one of her favorite songs, humming along with it. Taking a break from all her typing, the girl opened up a folder containing numerous video files she had downloaded from the internet. She opened one of the files to watch it, trying to figure how she might work it into a music video. This file in particular was one from the Chain of Memories video game.

As she watched the video, she reached over to pick up the small bowl she had sitting on the desk. The bowl contents were a mix of multiple Pixy Stix and one-eighth of a can of Mountain Dew. She had stirred the two ingredients together to a frothy consistency, and had been taking small sips of the insanely sweet and cavity-inducing concoction for the last half-hour. Unfortunately, with her gaze transfixed on the computer screen, her aim was a bit off and she wound up knocking the bowl over and onto the keyboard.

"Ah, shit," she muttered, she picked up the bowl. Hefting a sigh, she got up and went into the next room for a towel to try to mop up the mess she had made.

The keyboard crackled with electricity as the sticky liquid seeped through to the computer chips within it. The computer screen was frozen, but the video kept playing. The window the movie was playing in was crackling with static and the images were beginning to meld together. Voices came through the speaker, even though the scene was supposed to be music only.

"Which road will you take?" one voice asked. "The road to light? Or the road to the Darkness?"

The girl came back in with a towel in hand, just as a second voice spoke.

"Neither. I'm taking the middle road."

Facing the computer with a confused look on her face, the girl saw what was going on. Afraid that she had completely destroyed her computer, she hurried to turn it off, but as soon as she moved close to the computer, a jolt of electricity hit her. She squeezed her eyes shut and cried out in pain as the electricity ran through her body, then stopped. A cool breeze hit her, but from a strange direction; behind her. She opened her eyes and discovered that she was falling. Another screamed burst from her mouth as she fell towards the ground.

Something broke her fall. Something warm. She pulled herself up with a bit of difficulty; her body hurt from the combined electric shock and impact. A groan sounded below her and she pushed herself off on the silver-haired youth she had landed on.

"Oh, shit, you okay?" she asked, bending down to help the victim of her crash to his feet.

A low moan of pain was the response. The boy got up and popped his back before glaring hot death at her. She meeped. Then looked at him. A couple moments passed as she studied him, her blue-grey eyes taking in his details. Then she squealed.

"Oh my gods, you're Riku!" she said. Then she looked around her, taking in her surroundings. "Holy shit, this can't be good."

The caped man that had been with Riku glared at the girl from underneath the bandages covering his face. The young woman, older than Riku by at least four or five years, stood next to Riku, pulling him up by the arm. She was a wrench thrown into his plans and she would have to be put out of his way. He wasn't even sure how she had managed to get to the crossroads in teh first place; the girl had come out of nowhere. For now, he chose to ignore her. He needed to get Riku on a path.

"Riku," he said. "You must choose a path."

Riku turned to the man and walked towards him. "I have chosen a path. I said I am taking the middle road."

"You mean the twilit road to nightfall?" the man asked as Riku passed by him.

"No," Riku paused in his steps and turned back to the man. "The road to Dawn."

The girl perked up and her train of thought went something like this: _Riku's off to find Roxas and get Sora whole. He must go to the World that Never Was. Roxas. Dark City. Path to the Castle. Hot Nobodies. Unsuspecting victims. Follow He of the Fabulous Ass._

She began to go after Riku, but the cloaked man stopped her, grabbing her by the shoulder. "You cannot follow him. You have not the power to follow these roads."

"Kiss my ass, Sauromon," she replied in the typical "you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do" tone that all people her age could take on cue. "I'm going and there's nothing _you_ can do to stop me."

With that, she headed down the path after Riku. The silver-haired teen turned and gave her a dark look. She paid it no mind

and continued to catch up with him. However, as the cloaked man had said, the girl could not walk the path. A barrier was raised by some unseen force, hitting the young woman with her second electric shock of the day. She let out a cry and was thrown back harshly, landing hard on the ground with a groan.

"Ow..."

Riku rolled his eyes, heading back to the young woman to check on her. The cloaked man put an arm out to stop him, standing in front of the crumpled form of the girl.

"Go, Riku," he told him. "I will handle her."

Riku nodded and headed back down the path.

The girl moaned. "Oh, sure. Leave me with Creepy Caped-Pervert."

The man glared down at her, but she paid it no mind. After all, it was hard to pay mind to things when you were unconscious. The man was sorely tempted to do something childish and kick her in the ribs. She had disrupted the beginning of his plans for revenge_**  
**_

* * *

_**Author's Note:** And, as the title of this installment suggests, it begins. I will be periodically updating this for anyone who wants to see me make a complete mockery of myself, Donald, Kairi, and Mary-Sues. Also, I do promise yaoi in later chapters. Reviews are nice, flames will fuel my reign of terror._


	2. I: One Way or Another

_**Author's Note:** Things get started and I annoy Hayner, flirt with Olette, and force my way into joining Sora in his quest to find his friends and save the world, with ulterior motives of course, because I am a twenty-year-old girl with no life.  
**Warnings:** Yes, I hit on a girl. Don't like it, ignore it. If you're here for the yaoi, that's not coming for a couple more chapters, darlings. But you'll get it, I promise!  
**Disclaimer:** I **still** don't own anyone. Tiffany still owns me. So I really don't own **anyone.**_

Chapter One: One Way or Another

_Okay_..._Face...meet Floor._

That was the first thing that ran through her mind. She pried herself off the pristine white floor and rubbed her forehead and checked her nose for any bleeding that might have started when her face hit the floor. Sitting up, she looked around her. White. Lots of it.

"Oh, boy, is it time for my annual exam already?" she asked out loud.

She pushed herself up and got on her feet. After the initial wobbliness passed, she began to walk away from the large egg-shaped pod she had fallen out of and headed towards the door she saw carved out of the far wall.

"Man, what kind of drugs am I on?" she wondered.

Wandering out of the white room and into the a large library, she headed through the rest of the strange house. Now this looked familiar. She exited the house, feeling out of place in the empty house. Of course, she stopped to examine a couple of chests that were scattered about, pulling out the items she found inside and slipping them into the pockets of the black hoodie she wore. She continued through the forest surrounding the mansion and slipped through the large hole in the wall at the far end of the forest.

She was greeted by the sight of a large town. A painfully bright orange and gold train chugged on past her and she decided to follow it and jump onto it to go through the town. She looked around as she rode the train through the town. She vaguely recognized the signs, proclaiming loudly that there was a tournament coming up, pasted haphazardly over the walls of various buildings.

"Ah, hell, don't tell me he locked me in the digital Twilight Town," she muttered. She hopped off the train when she spotted a shop and headed over. She pulled out the munny she had collected from the chests at the mansion and counted it. She was hungry and she needed a bag of some sort to carry the items she had found.

"Can I help you?" the shopkeeper asked.

"Yeah, I need a bag and about thirty Rock Stars," the girl replied. "And a bag of Doritos."

"Rock Stars? Doritos?"

The girl groaned. "Just a backpack. I don't think I have enough for thirty Rock Stars anyways."

The shopkeeper nodded and pulled a light blue backpack from the shelf behind him. "Will this do?"

She looked at it. It was just a plain, blue backpack. There was no brand name on it, no decoration at all. She sighed. "Yeah, I suppose." She slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans and felt the Sharpie she always carried on her. She'd have a blast decorating it.

"Five hundred munny," the man said, handing her the backpack.

She counted out the odd currency and handed him the requested amount. "Hey, do you know a kid named Roxas?"

The man looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I know every kid in town, but I've never heard of anyone named Roxas. He your brother or something?"

"Or something," the girl replied. She wandered out of the shop, pulling items out of her pockets and throwing them into the backpack. "Well, now what?"

She stopped walking and looked around again. There was a sign a few feet away that read "Back Alley." She took a moment to think up the little map of the town she had memorized through over fifty hours of game play. Yeah, fifty. She was a college student; she didn't have that much free time. Lies, of course, she had plenty of free time, just spent most of it away from the house. Hell, she hadn't even gotten to Saïx in her game yet. Now she was stuck _in_ the damn game.

She paused. Stuck. In the game.

_Oh, this ought to be interesting,_ she grinned. She started to laugh, causing a group of little kids to run away.

* * *

"Just a couple more days of summer vacation," Hayner said. "God, I'm bored!" 

Olette looked over to her blond friend. "What can we do? We don't have enough munny to go to the beach."

"We could go over to Sunset Terrace," Pence suggested. "The town line is free."

"But there's nothing to do over there!" Hayner whined. "How about going over and showing Seifer who's boss?"

Olette sighed. Hayner always wanted to fight Seifer. And he _always_ lost. It got pretty pathetic at times. She leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling. "We could always do the homework we've been putting off."

Hayner rolled his eyes. "Oh, who wants to do homework on the last days of vacation?"

The pretty brunette opened her mouth to reply, but footsteps outside of their usual spot grabbed her attention. All three of them turned as a young woman appeared through the red curtain. She looked around, then smiled and waved.

"Heya!" she said.

"Hi," Olette replied, politely.

Hayner looked at the newcomer. "What are you doing here? Are you new or something? This is _our_ spot."

"I just got here," the girl replied. "I'm just looking around."

"You said you just got here?" Pence asked. "Where are you from?"

"The Void."

Pence raised an eyebrow. "The Void?"

"Well, did you think I was going to tell you my home town? You could be a stalker or something."

Olette stood up and walked up to the girl. "I'm Olette. Welcome to Twilight Town."

The girl smiled. "I'm--" she paused. Well, she didn't have to tell them her real name, right? She had a clean slate here, so she could tell them whatever the hell she wanted. "Kiaran. My name's Kiaran."

Olette took her hand. "Have a seat, Kiaran. You can hang out with us for a while."

"Thanks," Kiaran replied. "Hey, you have any food? I'm starving for some reason."

Pence reached behind him into a small cooler. "We have some sea salt ice cream."

Kiaran raised an eyebrow. Did she really want to try that? Personally, she didn't think it sounded very appetizing. Come on, _sea salt_ ice cream? Bleh. She was about to turn down the offer when her stomach growled and she let out a sigh. Food was food, right? "Sure, hand one over."

Pence passed out the ice cream and went back to his seat on the crate he had claimed as his chair. Olette and Hayner opened up their ice cream and began eating it. Kiaran followed their example, hesitantly tasting the ice cream. As soon as the cold treat touched her tongue, she had to force back a choke. Oh, gods, the salt! The sweetness that came after the initial saltiness didn't help.

"Tasty," she said, figuring it would be better to pretend she liked it. It would be best to eat without complaint because at least then she'd have eaten something.

"So, really, where are you from?" Pence asked.

"K-Mart. I was a blue-light special," Kiaran said, taking another cautious lick at her ice cream. "Seriously, I'm not from around here, that's really all you need to know."

"You don't like to talk about your home town?" Olette asked.

"There's a reason I call it 'The Void'," Kiaran replied. "It's quite possibly the most boring town the north side of the Columbia."

"The what?"

The girl sighed. "Never mind."

"So, what brings you to Twilight Town, then?" Hayner asked.

"A creepy caped pervert," Kiaran deadpanned.

Olette, Hayner and Pence all blinked. "Huh?"

"Never mind."

The four continued with idle conversation, eating their ice cream. Kiaran seemed to be more interested in talking with Olette than the two boys in the small room. And actually, if one were to pay attention to exactly what the older girl was saying, one might say that she was actually doing some light flirtation. Hayner and Pence paid little attention to what the girls were talking about, figuring it was chick stuff and that it was none of their business, so they didn't catch the flirting.

It was another half-hour or so before they heard footsteps approaching. They looked up as another person entered the room. The boy, a brunet, came to a stop just inside the door and looked around.

"Oh, great, we're being invaded," Hayner groaned.

"Hey, where am I?" the brunet asked.

"Twilight Town," Kiaran replied.

"Hey, is he your brother or something?" Pence asked. "Two new kids in the same day, both have blue eyes and brown hair."

Kiaran blinked. "Brown?" She paused, then stood up, walking towards a mirror on the wall. She looked into it and gave a surprised little shriek.

"What is it, Kiaran?" Olette asked.

"MY HAIR!" Kiaran exclaimed. "Noooo! The prettiness is gone! No burgundy! And it's LONG again!"

Olette blinked at her. "I think it looks fine."

"The dye is _gone_," the other girl said. "And I JUST cut it!"

The group stared at Kiaran as she whined about how her finances had gone down the drain and how the three-dollar coupon had gone to complete waste. After a few minutes, Kiaran perked up, tackled the newcomer and sat on top of him. She grabbed him by the lapels of his black and white jacket.

"You," she said, near threateningly. "You will get me out of here."

"Huh?" the boy asked.

"Sora!" a rough voice exclaimed.

Kiaran's head snapped up to glare at the new voice. She watched as two figures appeared through the red-curtain, one short and feathery and the other tall and—

"What the hell is that thing?" she asked. "A misshapen walrus?"

The brunet boy beneath her, Sora, strained to see behind him. "You know, I never figured that one out. But those are my friends, Donald and Goofy."

"I know who they are," Kiaran said. "Don't you think I watched cartoons as a kid?" She glared at Donald. "And you, what did the penguins ever do to you that you wanted to eat them, you sick bird?" _(1)_

Donald glared right back at her. "Excuse me? I never tried to eat a penguin."

Goofy looked at her, a questioning look on his face. "Gee, Donald, doncha think it's a bit strange she knows us?"

"Dude, every kid in the world knows who you are," Kiaran said. "Disney's ahead of McDonald's in the campaign to take over the world, if that's even possible."

"Hey, could you get off me now?" Sora asked. "I can't breathe anymore."

Kiaran looked down at him. "Yeah, fine." She got off the boy and dusted off her jeans and straightened her hoodie. "So, get me out of here?"

"But you just got here!" Olette said. "Don't you want to stay for a while?"

Kiaran smiled at the other brunette. "Darlin', I'd love to stay, but if I'm right about how long I've been away from home, I've missed my twenty-first birthday and haven't taken my meds in a year."

Olette blinked at her. "I see."

"I'll be back, don't worry," the older girl said, grinning. "Because I'm going with him," she jerked her thumb towards Sora, "and he's got to come here again soon."

"Say what?" Sora asked.

"You can't come with us!" Donald exclaimed. "We've got to find the king!"

"And Riku!" the Keybearer added.

Kiaran waved them both off. "You'll find them sooner than you think."

Goofy looked at Kiaran again. "Are you some kind of psychic-person that you know all this?"

"No, I just have no life," the girl replied, casually.

"And what can you do to help us if we bring you?" Donald asked, skeptical of the strange girl.

"Uh…"

"Can ya use some sort of weapon?" Goofy prompted.

Kiaran opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of it. "I don't suppose a rifle would make a very good weapon unless it's long range."

"You need to be able to fight to come with us!" Donald told her, a smug look on his face.

"Oh, I can fight well enough, but my main weapons are frying pans, just so you know."

"Say what now?" Sora asked.

"Hey, I could cook for you," Kiaran suggested. "If you take me with you, I'll cook and you can save a lot of munny on food expenses."

Sora thought about this. "Well, if you put it that way…"

"No!" Donald exclaimed. "She can't come! She'll just get in the way!"

"Don't be such a goose," Kiaran said. "If I stay on the ship, I can't get in the way, right?"

Donald huffed in indignity at being called a goose. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the girl. She glared right back at him, her arms crossed over her chest, mocking his stance. He added more intensity to his glare.

"I'm going to step on you and it will likely kill you because you're half my size and your bones are hollow," Kiaran said.

Donald glared at her still.

"Think about this, Duck. You're two feet tall and a bird that doesn't fly. I'm five feet eight inches tall and weigh more than I look. Logic rules in my favor."

Sora moved between Kiaran and Donald. "Let's think about this for a minute. If we take her with us, she can find a weapon to use and she can help us find Riku and the King." He turned to Kiaran. "You _can_ help us find Riku, right?"

Kiaran nodded. "Yeah, whatever. I'm going with you guys whether you like it or not because you're the only ones that can get me off this world and to any of the others."

Of course, there was the ulterior motive of hot guys in tight pants. Kiaran grinned to herself. There was a reason why her friends were convinced that "One Way or Another" was her theme song. Her grin turned a bit evil as she walked out of the Usual Spot.

"One way or another, I'm gonna find ya," she sang softly as she brushed past the curtain. "I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha…"

Oh, yeah, things in Kingdom Hearts were about to get seriously fucked-up.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **Yeah, okay, I wanted to write a bit more but that seemed like the perfect place to stop. Seriously, that is my theme song. All my friends agree._

_(1) Yeah, okay, this is referenced to a damned old cartoon from way the hell back in 1986. If you don't remember it, you're just too young. But anyways, Donald and Goofy were stationed in Antarctica and all they had to eat was beans until Donald decided that penguins would be a nice change in their diet. Yeah, it's a __**really **old cartoon._


	3. II: Silence is Golden

_**Author's Note:**__ I am back with another installment of Chaos Theory. And yes, I know I should be shot for not getting back to Ripples yet. I'm working on it, I promise!  
**Warnings:**__ Perversion, crack, the usual.  
**Disclaimer:**__ Nope, still don't own it. I am, however, the proud owner of a license to insanity, which has absolutely nothing to do with my plans to take over Square-Enix and demand the rights to Kingdom Hearts. Nope. It has nothing to do with that whatsoever. _

Chapter Two: Silence is Golden

"_I will drive past your house,  
And if the lights are all down,  
I'll see who's around..._

_One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya;  
I'm gonna get ya get ya get ya get ya!  
One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya;  
I'll get ya! I'll get ya!  
One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya;  
I'm gonna meet ya meet ya meet ya meet ya!  
One day, maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya;  
I'll meet ya! Ahhh..."_

"Will you cut that out?!" Donald demanded. "You've been singing that since we left for the station!"

"It's getting kinda er…annoying," Goofy added.

"I'm _bored_!" Kiaran whined. "How long will it take to get there? It didn't seem to take this long in the game! Stupid cut-scenes. No, wait, thank gods for cut-scenes, otherwise I'd be pretty damned bored…"

"You guys have any idea what she's going on about?" Sora asked, wondering if it really was a good idea to bring the girl along, even if she _did_ say she could help find Riku.

"Not a clue," Goofy said.

"Who cares?" Donald huffed. "It was a bad idea to bring her along. We can't let her drag us down."

"But she said she'd cook and help find Riku," Sora said. "Though, even I'm having second thoughts."

"And _then_ I swear I was channeling Xemmy when I was playing the other day because I purred at Blue-Haired Elf-Boy," Kiaran continued to babble.

Sora sighed. "God, girls talk a lot."

"Well, at least she's not singing, right?" Goofy asked.

Sora and Donald nodded, giving sighs of relief. Aside from the constant babbling, the train ride was relatively quiet now. Babbling was okay, since Kiaran didn't talk as loud as she sang. It was much better, actually. A minute or so passed before the girl stopped talking altogether. Silence filled the train. Sora, Donald, and Goofy all closed their eyes, enjoying the quiet.

"_The day the squirrel went berserk  
In the First Self-Righteous Church  
In the sleepy little town of Pascagoula  
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival  
They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah!"_

It was going to be a _long_ train ride.

* * *

After a nice long lecture from the old wizard, Yen Sid, Sora and his party were sent in to visit the fairies in the back room for a change of clothes. Sora had grown a few inches during his year long sleep in the stasis pod. Kiaran just wasn't dressed for a journey. The group of four now stood in front of the three fairies, Flora, Fauna, and Meriwether. Sora had already been given a new set of clothes and now it was Kiaran's turn to be sized up by the fairies.

"Oh, my, my, my," Flora said, looking Kiaran over.

Kiaran had to resist whimpering when the fairy came too close. There was just something unsettling about a two-foot old woman with wings being three inches from her face. She slipped her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt and bit her tongue to keep from saying something that could possibly end with her winding up with cotton-candy pink hair and baby-blue wings with a long black tail.

_On second thought, that might be fun,_ Kiaran thought. She still didn't actually say anything.

"I think she needs something more practical," Fauna said. "Perhaps a peasant dress?"

"I'm not wearing a dress," Kiaran protested. "Can we just stick to something sensible?"

Flora and Fauna looked at each other for a moment, then at Kiaran before they went back to trying to come up with something for the girl. Kiaran hung her head, then looked at Meriwether pleadingly. The blue fairy gave her a sympathetic look and went ahead and, with a flick of her wand, gave the young woman a new outfit. Kiaran waited for the magic to disperse before looking down at herself.

She wore a part of black capris with four zippers; one on her right pocket, one on her left leg above her knee, and one on running up the side of each leg. There were deep burgundy belts running crisscross around her hips that matched the thin strips that went around her legs. Her top was a light gray tanktop that had a floral design on the chest done in the same burgundy as the belts. Over the tanktop was her beloved black hoodie, though it had been changed slightly as well, to sport a burgundy stripe on the side of each arm. Her shoes had remained the same black, gray and red Vans. Her hands were covered by mesh gloves that had leather covering the palms and her hair was left loose.

"I like it," she said, grinning.

"Sensible, clean cut, and it looks right on you," Meriwether said, arms crossed over her chest with a smile on her face.

Kiaran thanked Meriwether again. Then a thought occurred to her. "Hey, could I ask a favor?"

"Sure thing," the little fairy replied.

"Could you fix my hair a bit?" Kiaran asked. "Just change the color to the same color as the belts?"

Meriwether nodded. With a flick of her wand, she changed Kiaran's hair. It was as the girl had asked, the same deep burgundy as the belts around her waist. Kiaran gave her a grin, then turned to Sora, giving a bit of a spin.

"So, how do I look?"

Sora shrugged. "Good."

"Just good?" Kiaran said, voice monotonous.

Sora shrugged again. "Well, it works, doesn't it?"

Kiaran gave a sigh and put her hands in the air with exasperation. "Men." She put her hands on her hips and turned to Donald and Goofy. "So, what now?"

"We need to see Master Yen Sid again," Donald said.

"Oh, boy," Kiaran groaned.

"You will behave this time around," Donald told her. "Master Yen Sid is not this 'Dumbledork' you called him last time!"

The girl snickered to herself. "Can't help myself sometimes."

"You'd better," Goofy warned. "Master Yen Sid's uh, patience, shouldn't be tested."

Kiaran gave another sigh. "You guys are no fun."

"C'mon, Kiaran," Sora said. "We should just get this over with so we can go find Riku."

"Oh, yes," Kiaran grinned. "He of the Fabulous Ass. Right." She bounced past Sora, Donald and Goofy, waving her thanks to Meriwether again.

"'He of the Fabulous Ass?"" Sora asked, following Kiaran.

"What, have you not looked at his ass recently?" Kiaran grinned again, giving a light purr. "Man, if he wasn't five years too young, I'd want a piece of him."

Sora stopped in his tracks and stared in horror at the girl, who laughed like a loon and continued down the hall back to Yen Sid's study. He took a moment, shuddered, then shook his head, trying to get the mental image of Kiaran molesting his best friend out of his mind. He was definitely beginning to rethink bringing her along.

"C'mon, Sora!" Kiaran called, waving him over. "You're so slow!"

"Coming, coming."

* * *

Kiaran sat in the back of the Gummi ship. Yen Sid had given it back to the party after another talk. Donald sat at the controls with Sora and Goofy sitting at the front, looking out the cockpit windows. The burgundy-haired girl gave a sigh.

"I want to driiiiiivveeeee!" she whined.

"No," Donald said firmly, remembering the last time someone besides him had been at the wheel. He was _not_ about to have a repeat of Deep Jungle.

"Can't I jus--"

"No."

"But I--"

"No."

"Jus--"

"No!"

"C'moooooonnnnn!"

"**NO!**" Donald shouted, slamming a clenched, feathery fist down.

"DONALD!" Sora yelped.

Donald looked down. He had hit the warp button when he slammed his fist down. "Oops."

"Oh, man," Sora groaned, holding onto the arms of his chair.

Goofy and Donald both held on for dear life as the Gummi ship lunged forward into warp drive. Kiaran grinned like a maniac and barely held on as the ship jumped suddenly, with her bouncing along with it. She gave a laugh, obviously enjoying the ride.

"Just like a roller coaster!" she grinned.

The girl bounced along with the way the ship moved, continuing to enjoy it until the ship was sucked into a portal. Donald grabbed the controls as Sora went to the weapons panel. Hundreds of smaller ships began to attack them and Sora began a counter attack. Kiaran moved up from her seat and stood behind Sora.

"Look out for those guys on the right," she said, a grin still on her face and her voice calm.

Sora swung the guns around to aim at the enemy ships to the right. Kiaran gave an evil little laugh, drawing Sora's attention to her. Donald and Goofy also gave her uneasy looks. The girl ignored the three of them, leaning over Sora to hit the buttons to shoot the enemy ships that were coming way too close to their ship.

"Always keep your eyes on the enemy, Sora," she said, watching with twisted fascination as the small enemies blew to pieces. "Otherwise, you're screwed before you can say 'save me, Riku.'"

"I don't need Riku to save me," Sora frowned, taking the controls back from the girl. "Besides, I've done this before."

Between Sora shooting the enemies and Donald navigating through the field, the ship managed to get through relatively unharmed. A second portal appeared and they went through it to the other side, where they saw a world coming up. Donald reached up and hit a switch to begin the landing.

"Wonder what world this is," Sora said. "It looks familiar."

"I should think it would look familiar, Sora," Kiaran said. "You've been here before."

The ship went through the atmosphere to land not far from a large town. There was a great castle in the background, one that was hauntingly familiar to Sora, Donald, and Goofy. Kiaran grinned and headed into the town.

"Kiaran, wait!" Sora called. "You don't know where you're going!"

"Sure I do," Kiaran replied. "I told you, I know everything."

"Which _really_ creeps me out," Sora muttered under his breath. The fact that a strange girl seemed to know so much was really disconcerting.

Kiaran led the boys into the town and headed through the streets. There wasn't much to the town yet. It was filled with construction equipment and there weren't many buildings standing in the middle of the town. Sora followed Kiaran, looking around as they walked. He knew from the castle in the background that they were in Hollow Bastion, but he'd never been to this part of the world.

"Who's your girlfriend?" a familiar voice called.

Sora looked up to see Yuffie Kisaragi perched on a wall nearby. A wide grin crossed his face and he greeted her with enthusiasm. The ninja smiled and waved, then frowned, pointing behind Sora.

"Look out!" she warned.

Sora turned to see a number of Heartless and a handful of Nobodies appear behind him and approach. He pulled out the Keyblade and ran in to attack. Donald and Goofy joined him as Kiaran stepped back. She wouldn't be much help without a weapon. One of the Dusks headed towards her and Yuffie had to jump in.

"What are you doing running around without a weapon?!" the ninja demanded. "Are you crazy?"

"Yes," Kiaran replied in a deadpan.

Yuffie rolled her eyes and guarded Kiaran for the time being. After a short battle, all the Heartless and Nobodies were defeated. Panting with the effort, Sora joined Yuffie and Kiaran. Yuffie looked at Sora and put her hands on her hips.

"If you're going to drag someone along, you should at least get her something to fight with," she told him.

"She invited herself," Sora said in his defense. "We weren't expecting a new member to the party. Besides, we don't have enough munny to buy her a weapon, yet."

Yuffie sighed. "Talk to Cid. Maybe he'll let her borrow one of his staffs. He's got a couple that he doesn't use." She turned to Kiaran. "Can you use a staff?"

"Yeah," Kiaran replied. "My brother and I used to play with them back home."

"Well, there you go," Yuffie said. She gestured for the group to follow her. "C'mon, Merlin's house is just this way. The others will be glad to see you."

* * *

The reunion between Sora and his friends from Hollow Bastion hadn't been what he had been expecting. When Yuffie told him that they had suddenly remembered him after forgetting about him, he was understandably upset. Leon had once told him that they would never forget him, and yet, they had. They tried to explain themselves, making little sense to anyone. Kiaran understood what was going on, but as she said earlier, she knew everything; a result of having no life of which to speak and playing Kingdom Hearts when she should have been doing homework.

After the reunion, Leon had Sora come to the bailey with him. Yuffie suggested that Kiaran stay behind to talk to Cid about getting a staff from him. The young woman agreed, turned to Cid and asked him. It took some convincing, but Cid eventually let her take one of the staffs he had in the corner.

"Be careful ya don't break anythin'," he told her as she twirled the staff like a baton.

"Aww, where's the fun in that?" Kiaran asked.

"Girl, don' make me take tha' away from ya," Cid warned, though there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

Kiaran practiced a bit, getting Yuffie to spar with her a while since she needed a bit of a refresher. Yuffie readily agreed to help the older girl out, grabbing one of the other staffs to work with. Cid stayed on the sidelines, shouting some advice to Kiaran from time to time.

"Widen yer stance there!" he told her sharply. "Block her to the right! Woman, you ain't holding it right!"

After a good long spar, the girls called it off to take a break. Aerith offered everyone some lemonade and sandwiches for a quick lunch. Cid went over to his computer and went to work on some plans to get Hollow Bastion cleaned up and re-built. Kiaran, Yuffie, and Aerith sat down at the table in the large room to eat, talking amongst themselves for a bit. Merlin came over to Kiaran to bring up something he thought would be important.

"Young miss," he said. "I can sense magic lying dormant within you."

Kiaran blinked at him.

"You possess the ability to use magic," Merlin said. "If it's no trouble, I could teach you a few spells to help you to destroy the Heartless that you will encounter on your journey with Sora."

"I don't think so," Kiaran said. "I'm not going to use magic to destroy anything. Three-fold law and such."

"Three-fold law?"

Kiaran sighed. "I'm Wiccan. We do not use our gifts to bring harm. That's part of our law 'an' harm none, do as ye will.'"

"But, my dear--"

"Harm none," the young woman insisted. "You can teach me, but I won't harm another being. Not with magic."

"But you'll harm with a giant stick?" Yuffie asked.

"Just because I'm Wiccan doesn't mean I'm a pacifist. Violence _can_ be the answer."

Aerith and Merlin blinked at Kiaran. Yuffie and Cid, who had overheard, laughed. While Yuffie and Cid were laughing, Sora, Donald, Goofy and Leon re-entered the house. Leon raised an eyebrow at Cid and Yuffie, then glanced at Kiaran, who had this less-than-angelic look on her face. Sora just ignored Kiaran, until she bounced over to him

"So, what did Leo-boy here have to say that he couldn't say here?" she asked.

"Not much," Sora replied. "Just a bit about the Heartless and stuff. Then a bunch of Nobodies came over and Organization Thirteen appeared--"

"What?!" Kiaran cried. "The Organization visited and I _missed_ it? I missed the chance to pounce Demyx and ask him to sign my backpack? Nooo! Not fair, not fair!"

Sora raised an eyebrow at her, then looked at Donald. The duck shook his head with an annoyed look on his face. Goofy shrugged. Kiaran continued to spout off things like "not fair" and "why?!" until she jumped up all bright and perky; which was something scary, coming from her.

"Well, I'll get my chance!"

"I almost feel sorry for the guy and I haven't met him yet," Sora muttered_**  
**_

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__ There, things are starting to really get rolling. Next chapter, we go to the next world and Kiaran discovers that, yes, men really are pigs living in their own filth._


	4. III: Damn Autobots

_**Author's Note:**__ Yeah, okay. I've been lazy with writing because I've been looking for a job. I kinda need one before I go insane living at home with my sisters.  
**Warning:**__ You know, general insanity. Me. Bad jokes.  
**Disclaimer:**__ So apparently, that Polyjuice Potion in Harry Potter? I tried to use it to become Nomura so I could claim these characters were mine. Yeah, that stuff doesn't actually work._

Chapter Three: Damn Autobots

"My gods!" Kiaran exclaimed. She stood in a small room that was covered in dust, grime and crumpled paper. "Have you guys ever even_ used_ this kitchen?"

"We have a kitchen?" Sora asked, voice far too blunt to be joking.

Kiaran's hands twitched and she swore under her breath; vehemently and creatively. A large sigh escaped her and she slipped her hands into her pockets. "Well, if you guys want to eat tonight, I'd better get to work finding the stove."

"Alright," Sora said. "Let us know if we need to stop somewhere to buy food stuffs."

"Will do," the burgundy haired girl replied. Her hands went from pocket to pocket, as though she was looking for something. She checked the pockets on her pants, the pockets of her jacket and even in the hood of her jacket.

"Whatcha looking for?" Goofy asked, confused as he watched the girl take on a frantic expression.

"Where's my mp3 player?" Kiaran exclaimed. "Where's Saïx?!"

Sora's face was blank as he stared at the new addition to their team. "Huh? An mp3...player? Saïx?"

Kiaran started searching through her backpack, checking all the pockets on it. She pulled out a good number of potions and elixirs that she had picked up during her stroll through Twilight Town. A couple of other items found their way out of the bag; a tent, a bandana, a couple bracelets. Finally, Kiaran dropped the backpack and patted herself down. Sora stared again as Kiaran reached a hand down her shirt and grinned, a look of utter triumph in her eyes.

"Aha!" she laughed. "There you are!" One could almost hear the heart in her voice as she pulled the small silver device from down her shirt. "There's my precious little Saïx!"

Sora blinked at her. Kiaran was strange.

* * *

In another world, a world dark as the night with only the light of a moon that hung high in the dark blue sky illuminating its landscape. The light from the moon filtered through the windows of the large castle that hung above the city of the World that Never Was. It was in these moonlit halls that two cloaked men walked. There was no conversation between them. No sound echoed through the halls save for the footfalls of the two men as they continued through the hall.

A violent sneeze suddenly expelled from the taller of the two, blue strands of hair peeking out from underneath a black hood from the force of the sneeze. The other man turned to him.

"Are you alright, Seven?" he asked in a rich and low voice.

The other man nodded. "I am fine, Superior."

* * *

Sora blinked again, this time shaking his head. "You keep that thing down your shirt?"

Kiaran popped the earphones into her ears. With the power still off on her MP3 player, she could still hear Sora ask the question. "Why not? It's a convenient place for him. Admit it, Sora," she said, grabbing her chest for emphasis, "this is a good rack."

"Kiaran!" Sora exclaimed, blushing furiously. He stormed out of the kitchen, not wanting to hear Kiaran say anything else about her chest. "That's just wrong!"

Kiaran smirked to herself, pulled her mp3 player out from shirt and pushed the power on, starting up her playlist. Music began playing in her ears and she sang along, ignoring the fact that the others could hear her through the ventilation system of the ship, as she went to work clearing out the kitchen. There was something comforting about cleaning a kitchen, she decided; it sort of reminded her of home. Then again, memories of home brought forth memories of her siblings and she decided that it didn't remind her of home.

"Stupid twins," she muttered, tossing a bunch of broken items into a trash bag.

Kiaran spent the next few hours in the kitchen, occasionally singing along with her mp3 player. She finished cleaning the kitchen and went about checking the kitchen cupboards for non-perishable foods to work with to make something quick for dinner. Making a list of things they had to buy at their next stop, she gathered a couple boxes of what looked to be macaroni and cheese and a can of chili, vegetarian from the looks of the label.

Twenty minutes later, she had both ready to eat and called the boys in for dinner.

* * *

Sora looked around. It was dark, foggy and creepy. He felt a shiver go up his spine, not quite sure what exactly had caused it. Maybe it was the eerie chill of the place or maybe it was the white orb that just went past his face. Whatever it was, he wasn't certain he liked this place. However, it was necessary to be there, since they had to find the Olympus Stone and save Hercules' girlfriend, Megara.

"So, this stone we're supposed to be looking for," he said, fingers twitching, ready to summon the Keyblade. "What's it supposed to look like, again?"

"Uh…" Donald hesitated. He didn't know; they had just been told to find it.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all looked at Kiaran, who was poking the white glowing orbs around them, watching in amusement as they burst into blue-white magic orbs. Donald crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot in annoyance. Sora tapped Kiaran on the shoulder.

"Hey, Kiaran," he said. "You said you know everything right?"

"Well," she hesitated. "Not everything. I'm still not certain if Xigbar and Xaldin really are screwing or not."

Sora raised an eyebrow, mouth hanging open. "On second thought, I don't think I'll ask. I'm probably safer that way." He shook his head. "Anyways, you know what the Olympus Stone looks like?"

"Oh, yeah," Kiaran replied. "Shiny, gold, has a cloud with a lightning bolt on it."

Donald nodded. "So, let's go look for it. Unless you know where it is, too."

"I know who's got it and where to find him," Kiaran said, walking ahead through the caves. "It's just getting there that's the problem. The caverns are damn near impossible to navigate without the map in the corner of the screen."

"Map? Screen?" Goofy scratched his head, watching Kiaran disappear around the corner.

Sora shook his head as Goofy tried to understand what the girl had been talking about. In all honesty, he found Kiaran to be somewhat amusing. On the other hand, he tried not to think about what she said too hard. If he did he'd get some of the nastiest headaches. At least Kiaran would be useful, seeing as she did seem to know a lot about what was going on, as creepy as that was. The only plausible explanation he could think of for that was that she was some kind of precognitive. Somehow, he doubted that, though.

A sudden scream echoed through the caverns. Sora gasped; he was pretty sure that scream had been Kiaran. Running down the path, he traced the older girl's trail into the next part of the cavern. There was a large area spread out before him, fog covering the ground. There was no sign of Kiaran at all.

"Kiaran!" Sora called, summoning his keyblade in case the burgundy-haired woman was in trouble. After all, in all truth, Kiaran wasn't that great with the staff she'd borrowed from Cid and there was no way she could possibly handle a group of Heartless on her own.

"RAT!!" Kiaran screamed. Her voice was close, probably within that chamber. However, as far as Sora could see, she wasn't there. "KILL IT! _**KILL**_ IT!!"

In the middle of the chamber, a large, dirty brown rat scurried over a pile of rocks. Sora stared at it. Then he blinked. It was just a rat, right? Nothing to be worried about.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE, SORA!" Kiaran wailed. "BEAT THAT THING'S HEAD IN WITH YOUR KEYBLADE!!"

"This is pathetic," Sora sighed. He rolled his eyes and headed along the caverns once again. "Someone pry Kiaran off the ceiling."

After successfully getting the burgundy-haired woman off the ceiling, the group continued through the Underworld. There were several attacks by the Heartless along the way and with the Underworld slowly draining them, they had to find the Olympus Stone and soon. Sora, Donald and Goofy followed Kiaran through the caverns, since she was the only one of them who at least had some idea of where they were going. Finally, they came across a large chamber, where a door stood at the far end. In front of the door, with his back to them, stood a hooded figure, who turned at the sound of their approaching footsteps.

"You!" he cried. He lifted his hood from his head, revealing soft blond hair styled in what looked to be the bastard child of a mohawk and a mullet and piercing eyes the color of the Caribbean Sea. "Wait a sec…"

"Demyx!" Kiaran cried, tackling the poor guy Tigger-style. "Sign my backpack?"

"Get off me!" the blond whimpered. "I haven't done anything yet!"

Sora watched Kiaran and the blond, an expression of confusion and exasperation on his face. Donald crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance and Goofy just stood there, scratching his nose. Kiaran finally managed to get Demyx to sign her backpack and released the Nobody with a smile.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Demyx said.

"Not according to the doctors," she grinned. "They all said I was normal. Of course that was three years ago now; things could have changed."

"I'll say they've changed," the blond muttered.

"So, what now?" Sora asked. "Kiaran, is this the thief?"

"Thief?" Demyx repeated. "Roxas, that's just plain rude!"

"What'd you call me?" Sora asked, completely confused.

Demyx pulled the Olympus Stone from his pocket. "It's just like the Superior said, then," he muttered, lifting the stone above his head. Immediately, he was surrounded by a golden glow. Once the glow dissipated, he summoned a large blue sitar and used that to create a group of water clones of himself. "Time for a little aggression!"

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Kiaran all pulled out their weapons. Sora attempted to go straight for Demyx, but the water clones knocked him out of the way. Kiaran, Donald, and Goofy were attacking the water clones, knocking a good amount of their number down.

"Sora!" Kiaran called. "Leave Demyx alone! You need to get the water clones out of the way!"

Sora nodded and twirled his Keyblade in one hand before striking out, the movement giving it a bit more thrust. Water clone after water clone fell, leaving Demyx more and more vulnerable to attack. It took a few minutes, but between the four of them, they finally managed to get rid of all the water clones. By the time the battle was over, they felt weak, the power of the Underworld having drained them of a lot of their energy.

"Not bad, Roxas!" Demyx grinned, summoning shadows behind him. "You should come back to us!"

With that, the Nobody disappeared into the darkness. Sora started after him, but Kiaran stopped him, grabbing him by the shoulder. She shook her head and pointed to where Demyx had dropped the Olympus Stone. With a nod, Sora put his Keyblade away and went over to pick up the Olympus Stone. He brought it back to his friends and held it out to them.

"So, shall we?" he asked. "I'd rather not have to deal with this place draining me anymore."

"Do you have to ask?" Kiaran replied. "Come on, we're dying here."

"Alright, alright," Sora said. He passed to stone to each of the others in turn after using it on himself. Once everyone had used the stone on themselves, Sora took the stone and slipped it into his pocket. He'd give it to Phil later. "Okay, let's go save Megara!"

The four of them headed off to find the missing woman. With Kiaran leading the way, they found the chamber where she was being kept quicker than they would have without her, even if she did managed to get lost once. Megara was being held inside of a large rock; the only way to get her out was for Sora to unlock the rock with his Keyblade. He stepped up to the rock and held out the Keyblade.

"Wait," Kiaran said. "Be ready to fight. They're not going to let us just waltz in and save the day."

"I figured as much," Sora replied. He looked at Kiaran. "I'll unlock Megara, then when we're attacked, you protect her."

"Gotcha," Kiaran nodded.

* * *

After successfully saving Megara, defeating Pete and the Hydra, then trying to cheer up Hercules, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Kiaran headed off-world. Kiaran headed back to the kitchen, where she went through the pantry again and found a packet of instant rice and dried vegetables. She whipped up a quick meal and served it to the guys. She actually wasn't all that hungry, so she left aside a portion for herself for later and went over to another corner of the ship. There were a couple beds in this part of the ship, both of which looked like they hadn't been used.

_One would think they'd use them from time to time,_ Kiaran mused. _Oh, well. Donald's flying the ship, Goofy's got control of the weapons system and Sora…well, whatever Sora does, he's got a handle on it. I'm just here to cook for them and molest the bishies._

Kiaran crawled into one of the beds, sneezing violently when a cloud of dust rose up. She ignored it for the most part, flipping the pillow over so the dust wasn't flying into her nose while she napped. Lying down, she closed her eyes and relaxed. She dozed off rather quickly, a surprise if anyone else on board knew her crazy sleeping patterns, but she wasn't about to complain.

About an hour or so later, Sora came into the small sleeping quarters in search of Kiaran. He looked around, a bit surprised that they even _had_ sleeping quarters; he'd never actually explored the Gummi ship since he'd been so busy trying to save the worlds. He heard soft snores in one corner, then raised an eyebrow when he heard Kiaran's voice.

"You didn't see nuthin'," the young woman muttered. "You didn't hear nuthin', the sheep are lyin'…"

Sora watched Kiaran roll over. He winced when she fell off the bed and hit the floor with a loud thud. Kiaran sat up, eyes half closed, a moment after hitting the floor. She looked around hazily before muttering something about cow-tipping being illegal before she crawled back into bed and laid down, falling back asleep as if nothing had happened. Sora shook his head.

"Girls are weird," he mumbled. He went over to Kiaran and shook her shoulder. "Hey, Kiaran, wake up."

Kiaran shot up. "LORD MEGATRON, THE AUTOBOTS HAVE TAKEN THE LUCKY CHARMS, THOSE BASTARDS!!"

Sora jumped. "_Huh?!"_

Kiaran blinked and looked at Sora. "Oh. Just you."

"What the heck was that?!" Sora demanded.

"What the heck was what?" Kiaran asked.

"Megatron? Autobots? Lucky charms?"

Kiaran grinned. "Ah, _Transformers._ How I miss the 80's. Well, not really, almost nothing good came out of the 80's. Then again, I was just a baby in the 80's."

Sora just blinked at her. Kiaran shrugged and crawled out of bed. She stood up, dusted herself off and left the sleeping quarters with Sora right behind her. As she walked out of the quarters, she hummed a tune. After a minute, she started singing.

"Transformers, more than meets the eye," she sang. "Transformers, robots in disguise!" She nodded her head, swinging her hips a bit. "Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons! Transformers! Transform!"

"Kiaran, whydo keep singing these random songs?" Sora asked.

"It keeps me amused," Kiaran shrugged. "Trust me, Sora; you don't want to see me when I'm really bored."

"I have seen you when you were bored," the brunet replied. "When you wanted to drive."

"That was Phase One," Kiaran told him.

"Phase One?" Sora repeated, confused.

"In my family, there are five phases of boredom," Kiaran explained. "Phase One is the complaints of boredom. Phase Two is when we get creative with stuff; for me, it's when I get creative with cooking. Phase Three is when things start getting weird. That's when I start making up melodramatic soap operas and perform them with only myself and a broom as the cast. Phase Four is when things get messy. That's usually our semi-destructive phase. Then, there's the ever-elusive Phase Five, in which someone is guaranteed to get arrested." She paused. "So far, my dad and my brother are the only ones to have reached Phase Five."

Sora blinked. "That's...kind of scary, actually."

"Of course, there's also Phase Six," Kiaran continued. "But that's just an urban legend, I bet."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

Kiaran and Sora entered the cockpit and sat down in the extra chairs. Donald and Goofy had navigated them through a swarm of Nobody ships and had managed to get them safely to the next world. Kiaran looked at the small display on the screen. According the data on the screen, this was a world consisting only of a castle and a surrounding forest. She knew right away that it was Beast's Castle and groaned. If she had to deal with Mrs. Potts singing "Tale as Old as Time," she'd likely lose it.

"So, are we going there?" Sora asked.

"Uh-huh," Donald replied. "We have to stop at all the worlds and make sure they're safe."

Kiaran sighed. "I dunno if I should go with you guys. I get destructive when I haven't had my caffeine."

"Is that the Phase Four you were talking about?" Sora asked.

"It can be. More it's just that I get pissy and frustrated," Kiaran replied. She leaned back in her chair. "It's a lot like bra shopping in a sense." She sighed. "Man, if only Ame were here. She'd pat my head, give me caffeine and send me on my way."

"Who's Ame?"

"One of the craziest girls I know and love," Kiaran grinned.

Sora raised an eyebrow at her.

"Don't even think that, Sora," the burgundy-haired woman said. "She's my _cousin._ Besides, she's crazier than me, anyways. After all, _I'm_ not the one that screamed 'Jesus Christ, what part of _lesbian_ do you not understand!' in the middle of art class."

The look on Sora's face was strangely reminescent of a fish. Kiaran snorted. Donald and Goofy exchanged looks and decided that, yeah, it was probably a good idea to leave Kiaran on the ship, if only so she didn't cause a riot or anything of the sort. So, Donald went about landing the Gummi ship just outside of the castle. After he had successfully landed the ship, he got out of his seat and turned to Kiaran.

"Stay out of the cockpit," he told her, shoving the girl out of the room and into the body of the ship. Just for good measure, once Sora and Goofy were out of the cockpit, he closed the door and locked it, taking the card key and putting it into one of the pockets of his shirt.

"Jeez, take away all the fun," Kiaran muttered. She sat down on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest.

Sora, Donald and Goofy shook their heads and headed off the ship. Kiaran watched them leave and frowned as the hatch to the ship closed behind them. She may not have wanted to go into the castle, but staying alone in the Gummi ship wasn't exactly the most brilliant plan. She hated being alone; if she was weird around Sora, Donald, and Goofy, she was fucking crazy when she was alone.

This was proved ten minutes after the guys had left. Kiaran went into the kitchen, pulled out the soap and grabbed a small bucket of water. Before long, she had mixed almost half the bottle of soap and a teensy bit of water over the entire floor of the main room of the ship. She left a couple clear spots so she could stand without slipping. Once she was satisfied with the coverage of the floor, she pulled off her shoes, pants, sweatshirt and tanktop, so she was wearing only her undergarments. She put all of her clothes on a rack high on the wall, took a breath and stepped foward onto the soapy floor.

"YEEEHAAAAAAAWWW!!"

* * *

"Well, _that_ wasn't what I was expecting when Belle said there was a problem," Sora said as he, Donald and Goofy headed back to the Gummi ship.

"No fooling," Donald replied. "The Organization was behind it. There's no telling what they're up to."

"Ya think they might try it again?" Goofy asked as Donald opened the Gummi ship so they could enter.

"How should I..." the oversized duck took a step into the Gummi ship and immediately slid across the body of the ship, "knoooooooowwww?!"

"Donald!" Sora cried, running up the ramp and into the ship. He, too, slipped on the floor and slid across the ship. "Aauuggghhh!"

Goofy stood on the edge of the ramp, looking at his two friend. "Gawrsh, are you guys okay?"

Sora groaned from where he'd slid to a stop. He rubbed his head, which was bumped from hitting the far wall. "What was that?"

"Jeez, you couldn't give me any warning?"

Sora, Donald and Goofy looked over. Kiaran stood near the door to the cockpit, wearing nothing except her underwear and her jacket. She was cleaning her glasses on a scrap piece of fabric that she had found and obviously didn't care about her lack of appropriate clothing. The girl slid over to Sora with what must have been practiced grace and offered him a hand. Sora grabbed her hand and she hauled him to his feet with little difficulty.

"What did you do?" Sora asked.

"Soaped the floors," Kiaran replied. "What did you think I did?"

"I'm probably going to regret asking, but **why**?"

"Phase Three," was the short, simple answer.

"I thought that was your soap opera phase," Sora said.

The grin on Kiaran's lips was a little more than just plain psychotic. "It is. I put soap on the floors and slid on it while singing opera."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__ I'm weird, I know. Yes, I have actually soaped a floor and sang opera while sliding along merrily. Mom thought I was nuts. And yes, there really are the Five Phases of Boredom in my family and before you ask, yes, Phase Six really is __**just**__ an urban legend._


	5. IV: In Which Sora is Traumatized

_**Author's Note:** No, I don't know what's wrong with me. The doctors all say I'm fine, but let me tell you; the things I do prove them wrong.  
__**Warnings:** More insanity. Lots of stuff happen.  
__**Disclaimer:** Somewhere out there, there is a place where pigs fly and I own Kingdom Hearts. I have yet to find this place. Until I do, I don't own these characters._

Chapter Four

Three days had passed since Kiaran's soap opera episode and the group had gone to the Land of Dragons and back to Hollow Bastion. They made purchases of food stuffs on these worlds so that Kiaran would have something to work with in the kitchen while they flew. This was all a great idea, as Donald had received a summons from the Queen at Disney Castle; something was happening at the castle and she was in need of Sora's assistance.

Currently, Kiaran was in the now cleaned out sleeping quarters, taking a nap. Donald and Goofy were at the helm, working to get them safely to Disney Castle. Sora was in the kitchen, doing the dishes as Kiaran had asked him to do. All was quiet on the Gummi ship front. Donald, for one, was enjoying the tranquil silence.

There was a sudden shout and the crash of a dish breaking against the floor. Donald and Goofy jumped and turned around in their chairs. Sora's voice came through the half-closed cockpit door. The boy's voice sounded almost traumatized. The reason for the tone was soon discovered.

"Kiaran!" Sora cried. "What are you _doing?!_ Get back in there and put your clothes on!"

"I'm _hungry!"_ the burgundy-haired woman whined. "I want a sandwich!" She stomped her foot, causing her chest to bounce slightly.

Sora squeaked and turned another shade of red. "Go put your clothes back on and I'll make you a sandwich!"

Kiaran considered the boy's offer. "There's egg salad in the fridge and 9-grain bread in the bread box. Extra mustard, please."

"Fine! GO!"

"Alright, alright," Kiaran muttered. She turned around and headed back into the sleep quarters.

Sora gave a sigh of relief and dried his hands. He picked up the broken dish and threw the pieces in the trash before setting about making a sandwich for Kiaran. He pulled out the bread, then went to grab the egg salad and the mustard from the fridge. As he worked, he failed to notice a shadow beginning to loom over him in b-rated horror film typicality. By the time he noticed the shadow and turned around, it was already upon him.

"Actually," Kiaran said, standing next to Sora, still in her underwear. "I'll just have the salad."

She leaned forward, reached past Sora and grabbed the container of egg salad. Then she reached for a fork, stood up straight and bounced off to the sleeping quarters. Sora stood there against the counter for a few minutes, jaw slack and face completely red. After some time, he stormed into the cockpit.

"What's wrong, Sora?" Donald asked.

"Turn around, _now_," the brunet said. "We're going back to Hollow Bastion and buying Kiaran pajamas."

* * *

"Thank goodness you're here!" Minnie cried upon seeing the group. "I was a little worried when you took so long, but I'm glad you've made it!"

"We apologize for the delay, Your Highness," Donald said. "We had to make a pit stop."

Kiaran grinned when Donald turned to glare at her. It wasn't her fault that the guys hadn't had a girl in their ship before. It wasn't as if she deliberately went out of her way to annoy them and embarrass them. Well, yes, it was, actually. What could she say? She loved to torture them.

"Well, now that you're here," Minnie said. "If you would follow me, I'll show you the problem."

Kiaran, Sora, Donald, and Goofy followed Queen Minnie out of the royal library and into the hall. Almost immediately, the group was attacked by Heartless, which had invaded the castle, much to Donald and Goofy's horror and surprise. Sora and Goofy took the front to protect the queen while Donald and Kiaran guarded from behind. They moved together as they fought, with Queen Minnie helping out here and there. It took a few minutes, but eventually, the group got to the throne room, where Minnie hit a switch and uncovered an entrance to an underground hall.

"This is the Hall of the Cornerstone," the mousy Queen explained. "As you can see…" she paused here to gesture around her to the thick thorn bushes that were invading the hall. "…It's not as protected as it should be."

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Kiaran surveyed the room. Kiaran, knowing everything already from having played the game, spaced out while the others discussed the problem, called Merlin in from Hollow Bastion, and discussed more. It was only when Donald elbowed her that she started paying attention again. It had been decided that the group would be going through the door Merlin had conjured up and go into the past to find out what was going on with the Cornerstone.

As soon as they went through the door, everyone changed. Sora had reverted to his previous attire, Donald and Goofy looked like something right out of the thirties and Kiaran was wearing the same jeans and tee-shirt she'd been wearing when she landed on top of Riku all that time ago. Not only that, but they were entirely shades of gray. Kiaran groaned; as if her vision didn't suck already, now she was color blind.

"Well, let's get this over with," she said, immediately taking charge.

* * *

Time passed. Perhaps an hour or two; no one could really tell with all the fighting going on. When they were finished in the world of the past, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Kiaran stepped back through the door and back into the world of the present. Queen Minnie was relieved that they had gotten back through safely and that they had succeeded in saving her castle. She thanked each of them in turn, then spoke with Donald and Goofy, leaving Kiaran and Sora to their own devices.

"So," Sora said. "What did _you_ think of that?"

Kiaran put a finger to her chin, twitching her lips in thought. "Well, I must say that was interesting," she said. "I'd always wondered what a screaming mime sounded like. Can't say that I was really impressed, though."

Sora stared at her. "Kiaran, there's something wrong with you."

"The more you point it out, Sora, the more I do to prove it," the young woman responded, grinning at him. She clasped her hands behind her back and bounced on her heels. "When can we get going? I want to find a bar. I've been twenty-one for I don't know how long and I still haven't had my first mixed drink."

"I thought legal drinking age was eighteen?"

"Is it?" Kiaran asked. "Oh, that'll make things more interesting."

Sora sighed. "I should have just kept my mouth shut." He put his arms back behind his head and sighed. "Hey, Kiaran, when exactly are we going to find Riku?"

The woman paused. "Well, that's a complicated question…"

"What's complicated about it? I asked when we were going to find Riku."

"Okay, the answer's complicated," Kiaran said. "First, you have to visit every world, get word from Kairi, go back to Twilight Town, revisit every world again, beat up a bunch of Organization members, which is going to make me upset, but that's not the point, then you have to go to Twilight Town _again_, enter some stupid password into a computer and then find an entrance to the World that Never Was."

Sora scrunched his nose, trying to follow Kiaran, but failing miserably. "What?"

"Basically, you don't get to find him until the worlds are done screwing you over."

"Oh. Great."

"Hey, Sora," Kiaran grinned. "I'm thinking of a song!"

"Oh, god, please no."

"_Always look on the bright side of life!" _Kiaran sang, then whistled a bit. _"Always look on the bright side of life!"_

"Kiaran!" Donald called from the door to the Hall of the Cornerstone, where he, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, and Merlin were exiting. "Quit singing! Come on, Sora!"  
"You just don't appreciate the arts!" Kiaran pouted. She sighed and ran after Sora, who'd gone ahead to follow the others.

The group headed back towards the hanger and back onto the Gummi Ship. Donald stayed behind long enough to assure his girlfriend, Daisy, that he'd be back in no time. Goofy waved good-bye to the Queen while Sora and Kiaran headed to the cockpit of the ship. After a few minutes, they were joined by Donald and Goofy and they all took off.

"So, where are we going next?" Sora asked.

Donald checked the monitors. "The charts say that we're headed for a place called Port Royal."

Kiaran perked up. "Port Royal?"

"You know it?" Sora glanced at Kiaran, watching her bounce in her seat from excitement. "Dumb question. You know everything."

"Damn straight," Kiaran replied. A grin spread over her lips. "Avast mateys. We sail this day to Port Royal. There we shall raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weasely black guts out."

"You mean, there are _pirates_?" Sora asked, eyes wide in excitement.

Kiaran nodded, still grinning. "Oh, it's going to be so awesome! Pirates, gold, curses…!" She let out a happy squeal. "And my costume's back home! Damn!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Donald exclaimed. "Curses?"

"Yeah!" Kiaran replied, bouncing again. "The Curse of the Black Pearl! Oh, man, this will be _so _cool!"

"Think we can lose her somewhere?" Donald asked Goofy in a quiet voice.

"I dunno," Goofy replied. "I think Sora might be upset if we do."

"Because she says she knows where Riku is?"

"Uh-huh. And I think he kinda likes her."

Donald raised a feathery eyebrow at his friend.

"Well, not like, y'know, how he likes Kairi," Goofy tried to rephrase his words. "More like, she's a friend and all that."

Donald nodded, but was still hesitant. Sora seemed to tolerate Kiaran, maybe enjoy her company a little bit. It was still stressing to be around her, with her being so loud and strange, rather perverse in her sense of humor. The girl was downright annoying from time to time, though even Donald had to admit that she had a couple redeeming qualities; he, for one, particularly enjoyed her stuffed peppers. If for any reason at all, he'd keep her around for that alone.

"I guess," he finally said.

"So, how long until we reach Port Royal?" Sora asked. He bounced in his seat, obviously anxious to get to the next world, thanks to Kiaran's own enthusiasm.

"From here?" Donald asked, checking the monitors. "Six hours."

Kiaran face-faulted. "That long?" she whined.

Donald turned to her. "Why don't you go in the kitchen and make something fit for pirates?"

The young woman pouted. "You just want me to go away, don't you?"

Regardless, she did get up and head into the kitchen. Sora followed, excited to hear more about Port Royal and what they'd see there. Kiaran was glad to regale him with a bunch of pirate stories, most of which, had Sora known any better, were taken directly from the Disney trilogy. However, since Sora didn't know any better, he thoroughly enjoyed them, wondering how Kiaran could come up with such stories about Davy Jones and his love for the heathen goddess, Calypso.

"The pain this love caused him was too much to live with," Kiaran told him as she pulled down a bottle of rum and poured a bit of it over the potatoes she was preparing. "But it wasn't enough to cause him to die."

"So, what'd he do about it?" Sora asked, eyes wide in wonder.

Kiaran picked up the knife she'd been using to slice the potatoes. "He carved out his heart," she said, waving the knife. "Then he locked it into a chest and hid the chest from the world." She paused dramatically. "The key? He keeps with him at all times."

"Woah," Sora breathed. "So, is he a Heartless? Or a Nobody?"

The young woman laughed. "Sora, it's just a story! There are no Heartless or Nobodies in the story!"

"Oh."

Kiaran covered the crockpot and stood back. "Now, those can cook on low and be ready just before we get to Port Royal," she said, putting her hands on her hips and looking at Sora. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Alright," Sora said.

* * *

"Those rum-spiced potatoes were delicious!" Donald sighed as he finished eating. He patted his stomach happily, feeling quite full.

"As was indicated by you helping yourself to three servings," Sora grinned. He poked Donald's stomach.

"Sora, please don't," the duck groaned.

"Seriously, Kiaran," Sora said, turning to Kiaran. "Those were great!"

"Thanks," the burgundy-haired woman smiled. She stood up and put the dishes all in the sink and the rest of the potatoes in the fridge.

A beep sounded from the cockpit and Donald stood up. He waddled over to the cockpit and checked the monitors. He plopped into his seat and pushed a few buttons.

"Looks like we're coming up on Port Royal," he said.

Kiaran and Sora both cheered in response. Both of them made their way into the cockpit to stand behind Donald as the feathery figure took the controls to ease the ship into the atmosphere of Port Royal. Kiaran had an excited grin on her face, bouncing slightly in her happiness. Sora was just plain bouncy, ready to fight some pirates.

"Sit down, both of you," Donald said, becoming a little irritated with the two hyper humans. "Sit down and hang on. We're going in!"

* * *

"Wow," Sora breathed, looking around. "This world is…" he stopped to find the right word to describe it.

"Different?" Kiaran suggested. She had an excited smile on her face.

Sora nodded. "Yeah. I don't think I've been to a world like this before."

"Trust me, Sora, you haven't."

Donald and Goofy both looked around at the world, taking in the different scenery, the dark ocean and the moon hanging in the sky above. The world really was unlike any they had seen. It was dark and yet had a sense of calm. Calm that was disrupted by the sounds of screams and gunshots from the town below.

"Did you hear that?" Sora asked.

"Duh," Kiaran replied. "It's coming from the town. Pirates are attacking, if memory serves."

Donald raised a brow at the girl. "'If memory serves?' What are you talking about?"

"No time to explain," the girl replied, heading down the rampart steps and into the harbor. "Let's go!"

"Kiaran, wait!" Sora called. "You don't know where you're going!"

At that, Kiaran stopped and simply looked back at him. Sora sighed and shook his head. "Fine, go on."

Kiaran squeed and jumped onto the side of the stairs of the rampart, sliding down with a grin on her face, her bo staff strapped to her back, in case she was attacked. "Whoo-hoo! Zombie pirates, here I come!"

Sora, Donald and Goofy gave exasperated sighs as they followed her down to the harbor, using the stairs like sane people.

_**Author's Note:**__ Eheh…yeah. Sorry it's taken me so long to update this. I started writing this chapter back in October, then all those Transformers fanfics I've been writing took over my mind and time and I just haven't thought to get back to this. But now I'm inspired again and will be updating more frequently. _


	6. V: The Sound of Music

_**Author's Note:**__ By the way, I'm totally not going to go to the worlds in order because I don't remember the order and can't be assed to play the game or read through my guidebook for information. D: Also expanding on the worlds, showing more than what happens in the game and bringing more characters from each world in.  
**Warnings:**__ Kiaran bastardizes the __**Black Pearl**__.  
**Disclaimer:**__ If you recognize it, I don't own it._

Chapter Five: The Sound of Music

Elizabeth Swann had always wanted to meet a pirate. However, being taken aboard the _Black Pearl _was not exactly what she'd had in mind any of the times she fantasized about pirates. Captain Barbossa and his crew of cutthroats were not the pirates that she'd read about and were all rather frightening. Still, Elizabeth put on a brave face, threw her shoulders back and went about bargaining with them to the best of her ability.

After all, she wasn't the only one caught in this situation. The pirates had grabbed another young woman on orders from the captain. The other girl sat in the other corner, legs curled up to her chest and head bowed in her folded arms. Quiet sounds, which Elizabeth was sure were sobs, escaped the girl from time to time as the ship glided over the ocean waters.

_Poor girl,_ Elizabeth thought, watching the girl with the impossibly wine-colored hair. _She must be frightened more so than I._

Unbeknownst to the governor's daughter, the girl across the room from her was actually quite the opposite of frightened. In fact, she was downright thrilled. Kiaran was doing her damnedest not to burst out in hysterical laughter at the fact that she was on the dreaded _Black Pearl_. Oh, she could have _so_ much fun in this situation.

Elizabeth stood from where she'd been seated in the corner of the small room. She took a few steps forward and placed a hand delicately on the oddly-dressed young woman's shoulder. "It's alright," she said. "They won't get away with this. My father will…"

"Sora's coming," Kiaran interrupted. "He and the others will beat the snot out of Barbossa and his men."

Elizabeth figured that Sora was a friend of the girl, possibly as close to her as Will was to herself. "I'm certain. We'll be fine."

"I've _so_ got to screw with the pirates before he gets here!"

The brunette blinked. "Beg pardon?"

Kiaran shot up. "And I've got the perfect way to do it!"

Elizabeth watched Kiaran as the girl clapped her hands together with a smile that could only be described as pure evil. Worried both for herself and the other girl's safety (and sanity), Elizabeth stood to try to keep the girl in the room with her.

"Miss, I believe it would be safer to remain in here," she said.

"Oh, please, they're not going to hurt their precious blood sacrifice," Kiaran replied, sarcasm dripping in her voice.

"Blood sacrifice?" Elizabeth was shocked by this.

Kiaran thought a bit. Perhaps she should just keep her mouth shut about plot points to certain people. Then she shrugged it off and headed up the stairs towards the door that would let her onto the deck of the _Black Pearl._ Just as she grabbed the knob, the door opened and Pintel and Ragetti came through, each of them carrying a dress in their arms. Kiaran took a step back to avoid running into them and slipped down the stairs, causing Elizabeth to gasp in surprise and worry.

"Ow…" she muttered after hitting the floor.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked, coming over and crouching next to the older girl. "Are you hurt?"

"Duh, I'm hurt," Kiaran said, a bit snappily. "I just fell down a small flight of stairs and landed on my ass. I'm not immune to pain, y'know."

"Sorry," Elizabeth retorted, beginning to dislike the other girl.

Kiaran pushed herself up, grimacing as her back popped, then dusted herself off and fussed with her hair for a moment. She turned on her heel and faced Pintel and Ragetti. The two pirates gave a shrug and held out the dresses, one red and one deep blue. Elizabeth blinked at the dresses, then looked at the pirates.

"The captain wishes for you to join him for dinner and he requests you wear these," Pintel told the girls.

Elizabeth looked haughtily at the two pirates and opened her mouth to refuse. However, all that came out of her mouth was a small yelp of pain. She turned to Kiaran and glared at her, angry that the other girl would dare pinch her when she was about to speak. Kiaran was unfazed and spoke up in Elizabeth's stead.

"Fine, but I want the blue one."

Pintel and Ragetti looked a bit disappointed at the girl's cooperation and left after giving up the dresses. Elizabeth held the red dress and looked at Kiaran, who'd begun taking off her jacket and tanktop. Elizabeth gaped at the other girl, wondering what Kiaran was doing, cooperating with the pirates that had kidnapped the both of them.

"What are you--?"

"Look," Kiaran said, "would you rather eat actual food or be a metaphorical feast for a bunch of rough, dirty and horny pirates who would rape you until dawn?"

Elizabeth paled. "I-I…"

"I, for one, want to keep this little adventure PG-13," Kiaran continued. "At least for the moment. I haven't even gotten to the fun stuff in this story, yet."

"Story?" Elizabeth asked.

Kiaran's voice was muffled as she tried to get the dress on over her head; who knew the eighteenth-century dresses were so damn difficult to get on? After a few moments, she figured the dress out and got it on correctly. "Come on, get dressed. I'm starving."

Elizabeth started and began pulling the robes she wore off to exchange them for the dress the pirates had provided. While she dressed, she couldn't help wondering how the other girl could stay so calm and so casual about their situation. There was something that was definitely off about the older girl, but Elizabeth couldn't quite put her finger on it.

As she slid the dress over her head, she heard the other girl laugh wickedly. _She's utterly mad,_ she thought to herself.

* * *

"C'mon, guys, we have to catch up with them!" Sora exclaimed.

"Oh, we will," the captain of the ship reassured him. "Don' you worry 'bout your bonnie-lass."

Sora's face turned a bright red. "S-she's not my 'bonnie-lass!'" he squeaked. "She's six years older than me!"

"Oh, she isn't? She your brother's widow, then?"

Sora shook his head vehemently. "NO! Stop making assumptions about us, Jack!"

The captain gave the boy a grin. "_Captain. Captain_ Jack."

Sora gave an exasperated sigh. "_Captain_ Jack. Sorry." He looked over towards where the _Black Pearl_ had disappeared with Elizabeth and Kiaran on board. "How long will it take us to catch up?"

Will Turner, Elizabeth's long-time friend and the other man onboard the ship with Sora and Jack, lifted his head. "It could take days. Sailing on rough seas like this? Unless they're close, we won't catch them any time soon."

"Don' underestimate me, dear William," Jack called from his position at the helm. "I'll have us there in no time!"

"For Elizabeth's sake, I hope so," Will said, voice solemn. "If those pirates have done anything to harm her…"

Donald crossed his feathery arms over his chest. "If anything, I'm more worried about if Kiaran's done anything to harm the pirates."

"Gawrsh," Goofy said, looking contemplative. "You don't think they've hurt her, d'ya?"

Sora put his hands on his hips. "This is Kiaran we're talking about. They've probably got her bound and gagged by now."

"Doesn't sound like you're too worried about this woman," Will said.

"Well, of course I'm worried," Sora replied. "She's my friend. But she's capable of taking care of herself. She's probably fine."

"Where is she from that she has no fear like this?"

Sora gave a shrug. "I dunno. Every time I ask, the answer changes. She's claimed to be from everywhere from Hell to Cybertron, wherever that is."

Will thought on that. "This Kiaran woman sounds odd."

"You have no idea," Donald muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Elizabeth and Kiaran sat on one side of the table, facing Barbossa, who sat on the other side. Elizabeth was cautious as she took small bites of the food that had been placed in front of her. Kiaran, on the other hand, casually took a bite, a sip, here and there. For the most part, the burgandy-haired woman was unconcerned. Her nonchalance was almost unsettling to Elizabeth. As far as they knew, there could be poison in the food.

"Well, lassies," Barbossa said, keeping his eyes on Elizabeth as he flipped the medallion he'd taken from the brunette between his fingers. "I'm pleased ye could join me for dinner. I'm 'fraid, though, that I have…ulterior motives."

Elizabeth looked up, her brown eyes narrowed in question at the pirate. Kiaran merely took a sip of the wine she'd been drinking. Barbossa, seeing that Elizabeth was perplexed, continued.

"This 'ere trinket," he said. "How does a maid come across somethin' like this?"

"I didn't steal it, if that's what you're asking," Elizabeth retorted.

A soft snort escaped Kiaran, but she said nothing. Elizabeth cast a sideways glance at the other woman, then focused on Barbossa again.

"Perhaps a family 'eirloom, then?"

Barbossa took Elizabeth's silence as a positive response. "Well, then. Do ye have any idea what this is?"

"Pirate medallion," Elizabeth answered immediately.

"Aztec gold," Kiaran replied.

Barbossa now cast a glance at Kiaran. "Aye. How does a woman such as yerself come to know this?"

"I watch too many movies," Kiaran said.

Barbossa raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did nothing to display his confusion at the girl's answer. Instead, he looked at Elizabeth, holding up the medallion. "Yer friend be right. 'Tis Aztec gold. Blood money paid to Cortez himself to stem the flow of blood in his conquest."

"One hundred and eighty-eight pieces placed in a chest," Kiaran explained, looking bored. "The Aztec gods placed a curse on the chest."

Barbossa glared at her. "I'm curious as to where ye heard this."

"I watch movies."

"Yes, ye said that. I have no idea what 'movies' are, but I'd appreciate it if ye let me tell my story."

Kiaran leaned back and took a long sip of her wine before setting the empty goblet on the table. "As you wish, Captain Barbossa. Shall I retire to the deck?"

Barbossa gave her a long look before nodding his head. "Let the crew deal with ye."

Elizabeth started and gave Kiaran a worried look. After what the other woman had said earlier about rough, dirty, horny pirates, she was going to go on deck with them? Elizabeth reached out to grab Kiaran's arm as she rose. "You can't go out there!"

Kiaran pulled out of Elizabeth's grip. "Don't you worry about me, Lizzie. You've got other things to worry about. I know what I'm doing."

Elizabeth bit her lip. "If you're sure."

"As sure as I am about Sora's sexuality."

Elizabeth blinked, her eyebrows furrowing as she pondered that. Then she shook her head and let Kiaran leave. As the other girl disappeared out the door, she prayed that she hadn't made a mistake in letting her go like that. She turned back to Barbossa, carefully hiding the knife she'd been using to cut up her food in the napkin she had in her lap.

Barbossa continued his story, telling Elizabeth more of the gold and what the curse was. He explained how he and his crew had found it, took it, spent it on food, drink, and pleasure, all the while, concentrating on the piece he held.

"By the time we realized what had happened, it was too late, Miss Turner," Barbossa said. "We were cursed men. Drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths. All the pleasurable company in the world would not sate our desire. We were living Hell."

"You expect for me to believe such a tale?" Elizabeth asked, trying to hide the shiver of fear that ran down her spine.

Barbossa stood and approached her. Elizabeth rose and moved to keep away from him, clutching the napkin that hid the knife in her hand. She feared that she may have to defend herself. Jack, the little monkey that Barbossa kept, leaped onto the pirate's shoulder, taking the medallion and biting at it, almost as if to test its authenticity.

"I expect nothing from ye," Barbossa replied, taking the medallion back from the monkey. "But we've spent ten years gathering the scattered pieces of Aztec gold. Each of us gave his blood to repay the loss of the Aztecs. We recovered all but one and now, thanks to ye, we have the final piece."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. "And the blood to be repaid…?"

"That's why there be no sense in killing ye," Barbossa grinned. "Yet."

At that, Elizabeth pulled out the knife she'd hidden. Barbossa laughed and approached. Grimacing, Elizabeth plunged the knife into his chest, pulling back almost immediately. Barbossa remained standing, looking down at the knife. He pulled the knife out with no difficulty, no show of concern or pain on his face. Holding up the bloodied knife, he grinned at Elizabeth.

"I'm curious, after ye kill me, what is it ye plan to do?" he asked.

Elizabeth, eyes wide, rushed to the door to the deck, hoping she could grab Kiaran and find a way to escape the pirates. As soon as she opened the door, she was faced with the crew. She stopped in her tracks. Every one of the pirate crew was nothing but a rotting corpse, bits of tattered flesh hanging on bone. Her first instinct was to scream, but the scream died in her throat as her ears picked up the song that was being bellowed by the crew.

A pirate in the crow's nest belted out instructions as he sang. _"Grab your partner by the ears, lash him to the wheel. Do-si-do, step on his toe and listen to him squeal!"_

Another continued the song, observing a group of pirates that were dancing to the song. _"Allemande left, Allemande right, it's time to sail or sink. Swing your partner to the side and drop him in the drink!"_

Elizabeth spotted Kiaran amongst the pirates, a mad grin on her face as she continued the song. _"Ach du liebe,"_ she sang, voice almost as off-key as the pirates around her. _"Volkswagen car, sauerbraten, wiener schnitzel, und Wunderbar."_

Barbossa stepped out of the cabin and stood behind Elizabeth. He looked around at his crew, eyes narrowed in anger. "What the devil is going on 'ere?" he demanded.

The crew continued to sing, not noticing the presence of the captain. Every single crew member danced in the moonlight, their bones rattling as they moved. It was a gruesome sight, to be sure, but the singing took away from the intimidation.

"_Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard__  
This one small vessel has become a floating psycho ward!__  
We were sailing, sailing, heading who knows where,  
And now though we're all here, we're not all there!"_

The crew took a moment to spin into a group and pose. "Cabin fever! Ahhhh"

Elizabeth gaped at the crew. Barbossa seethed. Neither the crew nor Kiaran took any notice of the other two until Barbossa exploded in rage.

"What in Hell is this all 'bout?!" he shouted. "Singing! Dancing! Yer the most dreaded pirates on the seven seas and yer _singing_ like church boys in the choir?!"

The zombified crew cowered, then simultaneously pointed at Kiaran. "SHE STARTED IT!"

_**Author's Note:**__ Oh, gods, that was too much fun. If you have no idea what that song is, you've obviously never seen__** The Muppets Treasure Island**_. _Which is a damn shame, because it's good; Tim Curry singing is good, never mind that he's not in lingerie this time around. _


	7. VI: The Sound of Music Remix!

_**Author's Note:** Yeah, yeah, I know. Update faster, right? At my age, this is as fast as I update. :P  
**Warnings:** Lulz ahead. Also, a bit of femmeslash. Attempts at plot stuff. This chapter is also not beta'd, so forgive any errors. I'll fix 'em later.  
**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, do you think I'd be depending on my parents for room and board during college? I think not._

Chapter Six: The Sound of Music -- Remix!

"Kiaran, stop traumatizing the pirates!"

Sora gave a groan. Of all things, he never thought he'd _ever_ have to say something like that in his life. He was well on his way towards rethinking his decision to let Kiaran tag along. So far, it seemed like the young woman was half for actually helping them and half for causing trouble. She'd been with them for a little over a month now and so far, despite her constant promises to help find Riku, she wasn't being that much help on that end. Admittedly, yes, Sora liked her, but she was beginning to be a little more than a pain.

Kiaran bounded over, twirled her staff behind her and shot Sora a grin. "Oh, c'mon, Sora, what's wrong with a bit of improvising?"

Sora's palm met his forehead. "Kiaran. Pole-dancing is _not_ improvising!"

"Well, it was a good distraction, wasn't it?" Kiaran asked, feigning innocence.

"Just go," Sora said, lifting his arm to point to the ship. "Get on the ship and _stay there._ Goofy, Jack and I will go take care of Barbossa. You and Donald help Will keep Elizabeth safe."

Kiaran crossed her arms over her chest. "Alright, alright. Gods, you never let me have any fun."

"I think you've had enough fun for the time being," Sora muttered.

Kiaran stuck her tongue out at him. Sora pointed again at the ship.

"Go."

"Fine!" came the huffed reply.

Kiaran stomped over to the ship, swinging her staff at the air in irritation. She stormed up the ramp and onto the ship, plunking down on a crate that sat on the deck. She muttered curses under her breath for a moment before looking at Donald, who had been standing nearby with a feathery brow arched.

"What?" Kiaran huffed.

"And you're how old?" Donald asked, a sarcastic tone in his voice.

"Shut up."

* * *

"Well, that's taken care of," Sora said, leaning over the back of Donald's chair. "What world are we going to next?"

"We're making a stop at Hollow Bastion for supplies," Donald replied, pressing a few buttons in order to set the coordinates. He tilted his head back to look up at Sora. "Think we can drop Kiaran off there for a bit?"

Sora sighed. "I don't know. Do you really think it'd be fair to Leon and the others to just drop Kiaran onto them?"

"Well, Yuffie an' Cid kinda liked her, remember?" Goofy pointed out.

"Yeah, but…"

"Besides, I think she could use a break," Donald said. "She's been really crazy lately."

"But she's always been crazy," Sora argued. "And what if we drop her off before she can tell us about Riku?"

"I'm sure we can find Riku without her."

"We did fine on our own before," Goofy told him. "Kiaran's kinda, I dunno. I don't think we really need her."

Sora frowned. That was a good point. He crossed his arms on the back on Donald's chair and rested his head on them. "But I kind of like having her around. She's a little like an older sister. And she cooks. With her, we don't have to eat those freeze-dried meals we had before."

Donald's expression turned thoughtful. "Well, there is that about her. And she's gotten pretty good with her healing spells."

"Why don't we give her another shot?" Goofy asked. "I mean, it's not like she has anywhere to go if we left her at Hollow Bastion."

"Yeah," Sora said. "Everyone deserves a second chance, right?"

"Or a tenth," Donald muttered. He gave a sigh. "Alright. We'll give her another shot. After we get re-supplied, we're off to Atlantica."

* * *

"Oh, gods, no," Kiaran said, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout. "Orange is not my color. And horizontal stripes? They make me look fat!"

Sora circled around the young woman. "I don't see anything wrong. Aside from seeing you in a bright orange sea shell bra."

"You've seen me in my underwear," Kiaran pointed out.

"And I'm still traumatized by that."

Donald floated past the two humans-turned-merfolk. "Oh, quit your complaining. We should check on things here."

"I don't see any Heartless," Sora said, cheerfully. "Maybe things haven't gotten bad here."

Kiaran grumbled. "Trust me; things are daisies and sunshine here."

"Let's check it out anyways," Sora told her. "I'm sure it wouldn't hurt just to check in on Ariel."

"That's what you think."

Sora rolled his eyes, reached out and took Kiaran's hand. "C'mon, Kiaran. What's your problem?"

"I hate Disney theme songs," the young woman muttered. She followed Sora anyways, unwilling to be left alone.

Sora led Kiaran through the water and to the ocean kingdom of Atlantica. Almost as soon as they entered, they were greeted by none other than Ariel herself. The red-haired mermaid was overjoyed to see Sora, Donald and Goofy again and wasted no time welcoming them back, then teaching them how to swim properly, as it appeared they'd forgotten.

"By the way," Ariel said as she showed Sora how to turn. "Who's your new friend?"

"Oh, that's Kiaran," Sora replied, making a flip. "She's a bit weird, but she's fun. In an almost scary way."

Ariel arched a thin brow. "I see." She swam over to the burgundy-haired woman and offered her hand. "Hello."

Kiaran muttered a reply, but made no move to take Ariel's hand. Sebastian scuttled over and informed the group that he was planning a concert. He then insisted that Sora and the others take part. Kiaran gave a groan and hid her face in her hands.

"I can't sing," she said. "Well, actually, I can, but only if I'm drunk, singing in a foreign language or the song was originally sung by a guy."

"We can give you a bass part," Sebastian suggested, adamant that all of Ariel's friends got a part in the concert.

Kiaran grimaced. "Can't I just go taunt some sharks? At least death will be swift that way."

Sora frowned at her. "Really, Kiaran, what's so bad about a little concert?"

"It's _Under the Sea_," the young woman groaned. "I hate that song."

Sebastian gave a little frown of his own. "How did you know the name of the song? It's never been performed."

Kiaran opened her mouth to reply, but Sora cut her off. "She's some sort of future-seeing psychic."

"Is that so?" Sebastian asked, not quite believing.

"Yes," Kiaran said, sarcasm dripping in her voice. "And I foresee migraines."

"Well," Sebastian said. "It's against my better judgment, but why don't you pick a song to sing?"

Donald gave a grimace. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Kiaran's got a pretty electric taste in music," Goofy added.

"Eccentric," Donald corrected.

"I doubt you'd know any songs that I like," Kiaran said.

"Sing one for us," Ariel said, smiling. "I'd love to hear some music from your part of the ocean."

Sora groaned, hiding his face in one hand. "Don't give her openings," he muttered.

"Well, if you insist," Kiaran said. "This is acapella, a bit off-key and I'm probably butchering some of the lyrics, 'cause they're in Korean, not English, but whatever."

She swam back a bit and cleared her throat. Then she took a breath and began to sing. Sora, Donald, Goofy, Sebastian and Ariel listened as Kiaran sang. She seemed a bit uneasy at first, but picked up her confidence as she reached the chorus.

"_Dola-bojiman-go tona-gara to narul chaji-malgo sara-garam  
Norul sarang-hetgie hu-he-obgie jo-atdon kiog-man gajyo-gara  
Gurok-jorok chama-bulman-he gurok-jorok gyon-dyo-nelman-e  
Non gurol-surok hengbok-heya-dwe haru-haru mudyo-jyoga-ne"_

She cut herself off there, looking perplexed. She glanced at the group. Ariel looked back at her, a bit confused herself.

"Why did you stop?"

"I forgot the next part," Kiaran confessed. Her palm met her forehead in embarrassment. "I love this song and I forget how it goes?"

Ariel swam over to the older girl and put her hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll remember it, I'm sure! We've got plenty of time before the concert!"

Kiaran pushed away from Ariel. "Right, whatever."

"Well, is there another song you could sing?" Sebastian asked.

A smirk appeared on Kiaran's face. "Weeeeell, I do have another one."

"Oh, no," Sora moaned. He buried his face in his hands again. He did _not_ want to watch this. He _**really**_didn't want to watch this.

Before Sora, Donald or Goofy could protest, Kiaran started singing.

"_This was never the way I planned  
__Not my intention  
__I got so brave drinking in  
__Lost my discretion  
__It's not what I'm used to  
__Just want to try you on  
__I'm curious for you  
__Caught my attention!"_

Kiaran's singing brought a few of Ariel's sisters over to the grotto, curious about the song and the voice that sang it--deep, still vaguely feminine, off-key, but decent enough. Sora continued to hide his face in his hands, trying his best to ignore the song Kiaran was singing. He'd heard her sing it a couple of times on the gummi ship and was sure that this was not going to end well.

"_I kissed a girl and I liked it  
__The taste of her cherry Chapstick  
__I kissed a girl just to try it  
__Hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
__It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
__Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
__I kissed a girl and I liked it  
__I liked it!"_

Finishing up the chorus, Kiaran grabbed the nearest mermaid to her, which happened to be the second youngest of King Triton's daughters. She pulled the other mermaid to her and pressed her lips against the surprised princess' own for a kiss. The princess froze in Kiaran's arms while her sisters, along with Sora, Donald, Goofy, Flounder and Sebastian, stared in shock.

* * *

Kiaran grinned to herself as she sat on her bed with her back against the wall of the ship. Her arms were crossed and tucked behind her head as she sat there. The red imprint of a delicate hand glowed on her right cheek. Sora glared at her from across the small room in the gummi ship.

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, you lunatic," he told her. "You're officially banished from the city of Atlantica."

Kiaran merely laughed.

_**Author's Note:** I swear, that's the last of the musical chapters. The two songs I used in this chapter were Big Bang's "Haru Haru" and Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl". Some of you may have recognized the second one, but unless you listen to Korean pop music, you probably haven't even heard of the first one._


	8. Extra: 28 Seconds Later

**Author's Note: **So, my sisters and I were watching the Rodgers and Hammerstein version of Cinderella and I randomly made the comment that zombies should crash the ball. No, I don't know what I was on, but the idea got stuck in my head and wouldn't go away. This would have been the Halloween Special, but it kind of figures that I wouldn't have gotten it done in time. *started this months ago*  
**Warnings: **Zombies and, in conjunction, blood. Brief scenes of heavily implied femme-slash. Nothing that belongs in a Disney cartoon or video game, at any rate. And I will probably destroy your childhood fondness for _Cinderella_, but hey, more power to me if I do.**  
Disclaimer:** Kiaran is mine. Everyone else belongs to someone else. I do not own 28 Days Later; I've never even _seen_ 28 Days Later. I just parodied the title because it was fun.

**28 Seconds Later  
**(AKA: Why Kiaran's NOT Allowed to Practice Summons)

Kiaran supposed this whole situation _could_ have been avoided. Honestly, her magic wasn't exactly powerful; her Thundara was no more powerful than a strobe light, her Blizzara didn't even keep her juice chilled and her Reflera barely could keep the rain off her. Her only powerful magics were Fira (no surprise there, considering her penchant for fire) and Cura (which she used frequently enough during battles). Why anyone thought it would be a good idea for her to practice such magic as Summoning, she had no idea.

Regardless of whose idea it was, she'd probably find a way to blame Donald. After all, it was the duck that had insisted they come to this particular world to practice Summons. They'd landed and gone off in search of the Fairy Godmother who had originally given Sora the power to Summon allies. It was simple enough to find her, since it was the night of the grand ball at the palace; where else would she be on a night like this, but helping tragic young damsels achieve their week-long dream of marrying a prince with no name.

The Fairy Godmother was more than happy to teach Kiaran how to Summon. With a smile and a song, she happily danced around the young woman, granting her the proper magic and enchanting Kiaran's staff to help her Summon, then showing her how to use her new magic. Even Sora jumped in with a couple pointers. After a few practice tests, Sora, Donald and Goofy stepped back to wait behind Kiaran with the Fairy Godmother as the burgundy-haired woman attempted her first Summon.

Taking a deep breath, Kiaran closed her eyes. She twirled her staff in front of her before lifting it up above her head, then slamming the butt of the staff into the ground. A magic circle appeared under her feet, widening to a diameter of about six feet. Its glow shifted from green to blue to silver before disappearing. Kiaran opened her eyes to see just who she'd wound up Summoning.

The courtyard before her was completely empty. The only sound was that of the fountain, water steadily falling into the pool. The sun had set nearly an hour ago, the only light provided by the full moon and the flames of the street lamps that lined the cobblestone streets. Nothing moved in front of her and the only sounds behind her were the disappointed sighs from her companions.

"What happened?" Kiaran asked, a frown on her face.

"I just don't understand," the Fairy Godmother mused, propping her elbow on her hand and resting her chin on her knuckles. "The magic worked. By all means, you should have Summoned something."

Kiaran crossed her arms over her chest. She brought her lower lip into her mouth, worrying the flesh between her teeth as she reflected on the magic she'd just used. It had certainly _felt_ like she'd managed something, but there was no proof of it anywhere in sight.

A loud, hollow moan echoed through the silence of the night, the sudden sound making Sora and company jump. Kiaran looked around, trying to locate the origin of the sound, to no avail. Sora, Donald and Goofy all looked around as well. The moan sounded again as they searched and was joined by a number of similar sounds.

Kiaran arched an eyebrow. "That sounded like it was coming from the next street over," she mused.

"Lemme go take a look," Donald said. "It's probably nothing."

"I don't know," Sora muttered. "I don't like it."

"Wait right here," Donald instructed. He headed around the corner of a house to check out the next street.

No more than twenty-eight seconds later, Sora, Kiaran, Goofy and the Fairy Godmother all jumped in alarm as Donald gave a high quack of terror. The duck ran back around the corner, eyes wide and feathers ruffled. He hid behind Kiaran, doubled over as he panted. He pointed with one hand towards the other street, bill opening and closing as he tried to explain what he'd seen.

"Come on, spit it out!" Sora urged.

Donald took a deep breath, then looked the teenage boy in the eyes. "Zombies!"

Sora and Goofy both gaped at him while Kiaran gave a look of innocence. The others turned to her, looking to her for a solution. She gave them all a look in return.

"What?"

"_You_ must have Summoned them!" Sora exclaimed. "The Fairy Godmother said that the magic worked and those zombies weren't here until just now!"

"And what do you expect me to do about them?" Kiaran asked. "I can't Un-Summon them, can I?"

"Well, no," the Fairy Godmother began. "Considering these creatures aren't the typical Summon, they likely won't disappear on their own, either. Something absolutely must be done!"

Kiaran looked past the group, noticing movement in the shadows behind them. She lifted one hand and pointed. "Uh, guys?"

Sora turned around and summoned his Keyblade just as the zombie jumped out of the shadows towards the group. He jumped back and swung at the undead creature. The teeth of the Keyblade slammed into the zombie's neck, severing its head from its body in a gruesome manner never before seen in a Disney production. The Fairy Godmother gave a cry of disgust at the sight and covered her eyes.

The corpse fell to the ground in front of them. Sora heaved a sigh of relief and stood straight, lowering his Keyblade now that the present danger was over. He turned to Kiaran, looking at the burgundy-haired woman with determination.

"We can't leave these zombies to hurt anyone," he said. "We need to do something."

Kiaran nodded. "Yeah, you're right." She folded her arms over her chest, lowering her head in thought. "They'll probably head for the palace."

"What makes you say that?" the Fairy Godmother asked, a worried expression over her face. She'd just sent Cinderella to the palace before Sora and company came to her for help Summoning.

Kiaran glanced up at her. "The ball, duh. It's practically an all-you-can-eat zombie buffet. All those people up at the palace won't stand a chance." She looked at Sora, Donald and Goofy. "We'll need to get there before the zombies."

Donald nodded. "But how? We can't take the Gummi Ship up there."

"I'll get you some horses," the Fairy Godmother suggested, pushing up her sleeves. "They'll be fast. But one thing, my dears. You'll cause quite the stir the way you look."

"Isn't that the point?" Sora asked. "We're going up there to defend them. Wouldn't it be a good idea for them to be warned that something's up?"

"People frighten easily," the Fairy Godmother explained. "And it will be easier for you to get through to the palace if you look like you're on your way to the ball."

"You're going to put me in a froofy dress, aren't you?" Kiaran groaned.

"Oh, it won't be that bad, dear."

"How am I going to fight zombies in a dress?" the woman asked.

"You'll find a way," Sora reassured her. He looked at the Fairy Godmother. "Better make it quick. Those zombies already have a good head start on us."

The Fairy Godmother nodded and lifted her wand. Magic sparkled around Sora and Kiaran. Their clothes were transformed from their usual attire into proper ball-dancing attire that would put the costume designers of Hollywood to shame.

As the magic settled, Kiaran looked over the gown that the Fairy Godmother put her in. The full skirt was floor length and froofy, made of silver material, accented with burgundy beads. The waist was accented with burgundy chiffon gatherings and the barely-there sleeves were made of the same fabric, looping off the shoulder. Kiaran lifted her skirt to look at the shoes she now wore; high-heeled, of course, and the same silver color as her gown. Not one stitch of the ensemble was anything even remotely practical for slaughtering the undead.

"Wow," Sora said, staring at Kiaran. "You look…like a girl."

Kiaran rolled her eyes at him. "Sora, if we weren't about to race off to kill zombies, I would hit you for that comment." She eyed his equally floofy nobleman's attire, complete with heavily embroidered jacket with the fully puffed-up shoulders and high collar. "Besides, you have no room to talk, Sir Fights-in-Tights."

Sora blushed. "S-shut up," he told her, tugging down the hem of his jacket to hide as much of his tight grey leggings as possible.

"Now, now, no time to waste!" the Fairy Godmother reminded them as she transformed a few mice into horses. "You'll need to hurry to make it in time."

Kiaran looked at the horses and then back down at her gown. "I've never ridden a horse in a froofy dress before," she said. She arched a brow. "Am I even going to be able to get on that horse in this thing?"

"Goofy, help her up," Donald told his friend as he climbed onto his own horse.

Goofy went over to Kiaran to help. Between the two of them, it took a couple of tries to get the young woman on the horse; Kiaran missed the stirrup the first try, thanks to the layers of her dress, then nearly missed the saddle as she tried to move in the skirt. After the third mishap, she finally managed to settle in the saddle and grasp the reigns.

"Right, then," she muttered. "That was absolutely ridiculous."

"Hurry, hurry!" the Fairy Godmother urged.

"You heard her, men!" Kiaran exclaimed, lifting her arm into the air. "For the tadpoles!"

With that, Kiaran spurred the horse into a full gallop. Barely a second into the horse's run, the young woman was holding on for dear life and screaming at the top of her lungs. Sora, Donald and Goofy stayed behind for a few moments, exchanging bewildered looks.

"For the tadpoles?" Sora repeated, arching a brow.

Donald and Goofy both shrugged. They'd long ago decided that Kiaran was a being not meant to be understood. With a sigh, Sora spurred his own horse to go after the screaming woman. Donald and Goofy followed, both of them on alert for any sudden zombie attack. With Kiaran wailing like a banshee, the zombies were bound to find them eventually.

* * *

The palace was fully decorated for the ball. Silk curtains cordoned off the hallways, the fountain was lit up with fancy torches and the ball room was covered in flowers. The orchestra played in one section of the massive ballroom, while dancers were paired off on the floor, gliding over the marble floors. Full skirts floated and twirled as the women spun in the arms of their partners. More women waited along the grand staircase, each filled with excitement with the prospect of dancing with the Prince that night.

The Prince, on the other hand, was completely bored. He had been more than a little hesitant when his father announced the ball to him unexpectedly. He had just returned home and already his father was pushing the idea of marriage onto him. While the Prince knew it was his duty to wed and produce an heir, he had been hoping for a couple more years before his father pushed him into it. And the very thought of finding his bride at a ball? It was preposterous!

Try as he might to get out of the ball, he'd wound up being dragged into the ballroom anyway, and now he was to dance with every eligible young woman in the kingdom. It had been nearly an hour already and he'd danced with at least a dozen women of various age, type and color. None of them had struck him as the type he'd marry; perhaps a couple of them, such as the nubile young brunette he was with now, were the type he'd call to his bed, but none caught his attention as a potential wife.

No love lost between a Prince and his subjects, he thought. The women here yearned for him because of his wealth, power and good looks (not to be narcissistic or anything) and he lusted after them for their beauty and willingness to come to him. Not one of these women loved him and he loved not one of them. Alas, he was being forced to dance with each of them until he found his bride.

This ball was never going to end.

The doors at the top of the grand staircase opened and a young couple came in. At least, they looked like a couple; the two wore matching formal wear and walked side by side. They struck the Prince as being quite the odd pair. The young man (a boy, actually, as he couldn't be much older than mid-teens) let his eyes wander briefly over the ballroom and the young woman, who looked like she was completely uncomfortable in the silver and burgundy gown she wore, kept close to her partner, occasionally looking behind her.

Ignoring the two of them for the time being, the Prince signaled for the next young woman who waited to dance with him.

* * *

"Alright, we beat the zombies here," Sora said as he snuck behind the line of women descending the stairs. "Did you see Cinderella anywhere, Kiaran?"

Kiaran shook her head. "No. I saw her carriage outside, but she's nowhere to be found."

"Maybe she got nervous?" Sora offered.

"She's probably wandering the hallways, completely lost," Kiaran told him. She turned to head out of the ballroom again. "I'll go look for her."

"Be careful. We don't know how far ahead of the zombies we are. I don't want you to get hurt."

Kiaran smiled. "Aw, Sora! You're worried about me!"

"No, I'm worried I'll have to eat Goofy's military rations if anything happens to you," Sora joked.

The burgundy-haired woman frowned at him. "Just remember, Sora, I could poison your breakfast and you'd never know about it," she told him, pushing past him and into the hallway.

Sora watched her leave, a worried expression on his face. Kiaran wouldn't _actually_ poison him, would she? Considering her mood swings, he figured it was a distinct possibility, but he hoped to high heaven that she didn't. He liked life, thank you very much.

Taking a deep breath, Sora moved past the group of women to get to the guards that were standing at attention along the walls of the ballroom. If he had any chance of warning them about the incoming zombies, it was now. Donald and Goofy were outside with staff and shield at the ready, keeping sharp eyes out for any undead movement. They would be the first line of defense and Donald would signal when the zombies reached the palace.

"Hey, guard," Sora called over the music. "Come here a minute."

The guard looked over to Sora, a look of disdain crossing his face at the young man. "What do ye want?"

"Are you the head of the guard?"

"I am," the guard replied haughtily. "What business do ye have?"

Sora took a quick glance outside, biting his lower lip in worry. "There's a threat to the entire ball. You and the rest of the guards need to help me and my friends defend the palace."

The guard gave a snort. "Young sir, I am the head o' the palace guard. I do not have time t'play games with a group o' children."

"It's not a game!" Sora exclaimed. "There's a horde of undead on their way to the palace and we've got to stop them or everyone here will die!"

"Undead? What a load o' crock! Go play 'round somewhere else, son."

"I'm not playing around!"

"There's really an army o' the risen dead on their way here t'the palace?" the guard asked, disbelief coloring his voice.

The guard's tone went completely over Sora's head. "Yes!"

"Oi, John!" the guard called to his neighbor. "Get a load o' this kid. 'E says there's an army o' undead comin' this way!"

The other guard guffawed at the idea and soon both of the guards were laughing it off. Sora, realizing that neither guard would be any help, turned on his heel and left to prepare for the invading zombies. Unless Kiaran had any luck convincing anyone to help, it was just going to be Sora, Kiaran, Donald and Goofy against who knew how many zombies.

* * *

The Prince was getting restless. His legs were beginning to tire from dancing, yet there had to be at least thirty more women in line to dance with him. He couldn't help a tired yawn, hidden behind a gloved hand. It wasn't all that late, but he'd been up since dawn being prepared to attend this bloody ball. The music had ceased to be any entertainment and the line of women didn't seem to dwindle at all.

How he wished he could end this ball.

The doors opened at the top of the staircase once again and this time, the Prince froze as he looked up at the young woman that came in. His gaze locked onto her, his heart skipping a beat as she stepped into the suddenly silent ballroom. For a long moment, it seemed as though she were the only woman in the room.

Her beauty surpassed that of any woman the Prince had ever seen. Delicate pale skin glowed and spun-gold hair shone in the light of the chandelier above. Her gown, the softest shade of blue, sparkled with unknown magic. As she descended the stairs, accompanied by one of the guards, her eyes locked on his and the Prince knew that she was a cut above the rest of the women he'd danced with that night.

The guard brought her to him. Up close, the Prince saw the true extent of her beauty and was completely overcome. Moments passed in silence before the young woman gave a low curtsey and soft 'good evening, Your Highness' in greeting. Without a word, the Prince signaled for the orchestra to play, took the young woman in his arms and began to dance with her.

* * *

Shortly after Cinderella had entered the ballroom, Donald gave the signal. The glow of the blue Blizzara magic caught the attention of Sora and Kiaran and the two of them ran outside to see the horde of Summoned undead coming towards the palace. Kiaran summoned her staff while Sora drew the Keyblade and both of them readied themselves.

"You know, it kind of figures that I'd Summon the fast guys and not the slow B-rated horror flick zombies," Kiaran muttered. "Don't let them get you. I bet they're contagious."

"Great," Sora groaned. "Contagious zombies."

"If this were a movie and not my current life, this would be awesome," Kiaran said.

"Focus, Kiaran."

"Right."

"What's the best way to stop these guys?" Sora asked. "Take off their heads like the guy earlier?"

Kiaran shrugged. "I'd vote for a machine gun, but we're not getting those any time soon."

"Second option?" Sora asked.

"Fire. And lots of it."

"I thought you didn't use magic to harm people," Sora said, raising an eyebrow.

Kiaran turned her head to look at Sora. "They're zombies, Sora. Fire."

"Donald!" Sora shouted to his friend. "Use Fira on them!"

Donald nodded and cast Fira in the direction of the oncoming zombies. A group of the undead immediately caught flame and let out strangled screams. They clawed at the flames that danced over their rotting skin, trying to put out the fire to no avail. The fire continued to lick at their skin, burning tissue, boiling blood and melting their eyes. The zombies gave final screams and fell.

"It worked!" Donald cheered.

"Great!" Kiaran called back. "But don't celebrate just yet! There's more!"

A series of crashes sounded behind the group and screams filled the air, drifting into the night from the palace ballroom. Kiaran whirled around, skirt billowing as she did. Through the windows of the palace, she could see a number of zombies jumping through broken glass windows on the other side of the ballroom.

"Frag me, they've already gotten inside!" she shouted.

Sora's eyes widened. "Cinderella's in there!"

"This just keeps getting better, doesn't it?" Kiaran muttered, rolling her eyes. "I'm going in! Blondie won't have a chance of getting her Happily Ever After if those zombies get to her!"

Lifting her skirt in one hand and wielding her staff in the other, Kiaran shoved the doors open and ran into the ballroom. She slid down the handrail of the grand staircase, holding her staff in front of her as she shouted for everyone to run. Casting Fira, she aimed it at the zombies that were feasting on the ball guests, quickly burning a number of them to little more than ashes.

"If nothing else, this totally makes up for Disney not sticking to the original story," Kiaran said to herself as she barged through the sea of skirts and screaming women.

A couple of zombies ran at her and she slammed her staff into the face of one and jabbed the end of the staff hard into the stomach of the second. Both fell, but recovered scant moments later. Kiaran grabbed a sword from a fallen guard and brandished it.

"All those years of studying the fight scene in _Return of the Jedi_ is about to pay off," she growled.

Emulating the moves of one Luke Skywalker, she fought off the zombies, killing both of them in minutes. The ballroom was beginning to empty of guests and fill with undead and palace guards. Kiaran looked around at the remaining guests, many of them too far into panic-mode to know where to run to. She moved to run to help a trio of girls, nearly tripping over her blood-stained skirt.

"This is ridiculous," she muttered. Taking her sword, she made a few haphazard cuts in her skirt and tore it off. She kicked off her high-heels, picking them up and using them as projectile weapons. She threw one with all her strength, catching one zombie in the eye with the spike of the heel. She ran forward and cut the zombie down before hurrying over to the girls.

"This way!" she told them, grabbing one girl's hand and pulling her along.

The other two girls grabbed hands and the four of them chained together as they ran out of the palace. Kiaran led them towards the line of carriages. The two girls at the end of their chain broke away and hurried into a carriage. The girl whose hand Kiaran held looked at her, her terrified green eyes looking up at the older woman.

"You saved my life," she said. "Thank you. How can I ever repay you?"

Kiaran grinned, reaching to brush the other girl's dark brown hair from her face. "How about after this is over, you and me hook up?"

The girl smiled. "If you survive this, call upon me." She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to Kiaran's lips quickly before climbing into the driver's seat of the carriage, grabbing the reigns. "Good luck, my lady knight!"

Kiaran nodded and shut the door to the carriage. The girl gave the reigns a snap and the horses took off running. Kiaran watched for a moment, a smug grin over her lips. Oh, yeah, she was going to survive this, if only so she could get lucky. In the meantime, those zombies weren't going to off themselves, so she hurried back into the palace.

* * *

The horde of zombies was finally beginning to dwindle as midnight approached. Sora, Donald and Goofy were hard at work, beheading and burning the undead. Most of the ball guests had managed to scramble away, others still had been turned into zombies, themselves. Those people, the group had little choice but to destroy. With heavy hearts, they took out the zombies, newly turned or original. It was gruesome, it was horrific.

And Kiaran, curse her, was singing. Again.

It was bad enough that she was singing in the middle of such a horrendous task as vanquishing the undead. It was bad enough that Kiaran really didn't sing all that well. Couldn't she at least pick a song that wasn't as perky and upbeat as the cheerful K-pop song she was singing as she maimed and killed?

How Sora was even sure it was a K-pop song, he didn't really know. All he knew was that his friend seemed to be _enjoying_ herself. That in itself was enough to convince him that maybe Kiaran should be put in a straightjacket and locked in a padded white room for the rest of her life. Certainly, it would safer for her and the worlds they had visited, been kicked out of, left horribly scarred.

"Kiaran, could you at least have the decency to feel bad about this?" he asked her as they fought side-by-side. "You Summoned these zombies!"

"Sora, Sora, Sora," Kiaran sighed. "Need I remind you that you agreed that I should learn to Summon in the first place? Even though I told you that trusting me with powerful magic would doom mankind?"

"So you're saying it's my fault?"

"I'm saying you have some blame in this, too, so don't get preachy, boy," Kiaran told him as she dodged a strike from the zombie she was fighting.

"I'm not being preachy!" Sora said, defensively. "I'm just saying you should feel bad!"

Kiaran lopped off her opponent's head and glared at Sora. She was silent for a moment, eyebrows furrowed together. Maybe she did feel bad. Maybe she was going to apologize for it right here and now.

"Well, you have a tear in your tights!" she retorted before swiftly pivoting and storming off.

Okay, now _Sora_ felt bad. Kiaran had been right; it wasn't entirely her fault that she'd Summoned the zombies. Sora and Donald both had urged her into learning how to Summon. Sora had encouraged her to keep trying, even though, yes, he had known that she wasn't the most talent magic-user. It wasn't like she'd _intentionally_ Summoned the horde of undead. And she _was_ helping to fight them off, so she probably _did _feel bad about it.

Resigned, Sora went back to fighting. It would only take a little while longer to finish off the zombies once and for all. After they managed that, he'd find Kiaran and apologize to her. She was, after all, his friend. Friends apologized when they'd hurt one another.

* * *

Cinderella was frightened. More so than frightened, she was downright terrified. Her dreams of a beautiful ball, a dance with the Prince, a perfect night of music and falling in love, all ruined. These creatures of the worst nightmares of the smallest children, figures straight out of the darkest of tales, had the Prince and Cinderella locked together in a small broom closet. Had it been under any other circumstances, the situation might not have been such a bad thing.

The Prince, unarmed, had little choice but to hold onto the doorknob, in what were certainly vain hopes of keeping the creatures from opening the door and killing them both swiftly. His hands were both gripping tightly to the knob and he occasionally was forced to pull the door closed when one of the creatures attempted to get in.

"We're going to be killed," Cinderella murmured, heart pounding.

"Nonsense," the Prince replied. "We'll survive this. We've only just met; this can't be the end."

He pulled the door closed again, just managing to keep a diseased hand from reaching in. Cinderella clung to his arm, unwilling to let go. Her dreams were not going to be taken away from her, not like this. By keeping hold of the Prince, she kept hold of her dreams in the middle of this nightmare.

"If only I had a sword!" the Prince exclaimed.

"The only things in here are a broom and a mop," Cinderella said, disheartened.

The door to the broom closet was tugged on once again and an arm reached in. Cinderella let out a scream and grabbed the broom, using it to bat the arm away. It took a few whacks, but the arm was eventually pulled back out of the gap and the Prince drew the door closed again. He looked at Cinderella, a smile over his lips in the darkness of the small space.

"Not bad, my lady," he complimented.

Cinderella just managed a soft sigh and smile in return. A series of loud moans and hollow yells sounded outside the door suddenly. A sickening sound followed, like a large knife cleaving through flesh and bone. Several thumps later, the door was pulled open once again, this time by a young woman with wine-colored hair. The girl was dressed in blood-stained silver tatters that had once been a beautiful gown. Her body was covered in blood, her hair tousled. She held a sword in one hand. Fallen corpses were scattered around her.

"Oh, good," she said, breathing heavily. "You're safe."

"Just barely," the Prince replied. He looked past the girl and, seeing no immediate threat, stepped out of the broom closet, leading Cinderella out. "Who are you?"

"Just your friendly neighborhood spaz," she answered, giving a shrug of her shoulders. She hefted her sword over her shoulder and eyed the two of them. "The broom closet? Seriously?"

"I'd like to see you come up with a better place," the Prince retorted.

The woman rolled her eyes. "I've been fighting, Your Majesty," she said, an annoyed tone in her voice.

The Prince arched an eyebrow, as if he didn't believe that a woman could fight. However, the fact that the woman held a sword and had apparently taken out the creatures that had attacked them kept him from saying anything aloud. Woman she may be, but clearly, she had skills.

"Anyways," the young woman said. "The zombies are almost all destroyed. The ball's over, Your Majesty." She turned to Cinderella. "And sweetie, it's almost midnight."

Cinderella turned towards a nearby window, conveniently facing the clock tower. Indeed, there were fewer than five minutes left until midnight, when the Fairy Godmother's magic faded. She felt cheated. She'd barely had one dance before the zombies attacked the ball and had only just fallen in love. Shouldn't she have had more than that?

With a heavy heart, she turned to the Prince. "I must go," she told him.

The Prince looked shock. "Why?" he asked. "We've only…"

"Only just met," Cinderella finished for him. She brought her hands in front of her, folding them together as she bowed her head. "Yes, I know. It's been a wonderful night, despite the turn of events. I only wish we'd have had more time."

"This can't be the end," the Prince shook his head.

"It isn't," Cinderella replied. "We will see each other again. I'm certain of it."

With that, she turned, gathered her skirts and ran down the hallway.

"Wait!" the Prince called after her. "Don't I even get to know your name?" He hurried after the blonde woman, leaving the other young woman in the hall.

Kiaran watched after them. "Well, not exactly as Disney wrote it, but at least Cinderella's story stands a chance of getting back on track."

With a shrug, Kiaran headed the opposite way down the hall. Outside, the clock tower began to chime twelve times to midnight. Walking down the hall, wandering past fallen corpses, Kiaran noticed the bodies of the zombies shimmering. She stopped in her tracks and watched. At the final stroke of midnight, the zombies faded.

Kiaran blinked. "That certainly makes clean-up easier."

* * *

After joining up once again with Sora, Donald and Goofy, Kiaran suggested the four of them go into town to find an inn where they could stay for the remainder of the night. The guys nodded wearily; everyone was exhausted from zombie-slaying and saving the night. There was no way they'd be able to trudge all the way to the Gummi Ship in their condition. They did manage to get back to town, however.

Kiaran straggled behind the boys, shoulders slumped. She really needed a bath, she decided as she trailed behind her companions. Her hair was a mess, matted with blood. With all the blood over her body, she could probably start up a Red Cross Blood Mobile here. Her arms were tired from swinging her sword around for hours and all she wanted was to soak in a tub until all the pain went away and she came out wrinkled like a prune.

"Lady knight!" a voice called.

Kiaran raised her head to see the brunette she'd rescued. The girl waved to her from a nearby doorway. She'd changed from her gown to a simple night dress. Kiaran glanced after Sora, Donald and Goofy, who paid no attention to her. She hurried over to the brunette.

"You survived," the girl smiled, hugging Kiaran. She pulled back a moment later. "I drew a bath, just in case you might come by. You'll want to freshen up, yes?"

Kiaran grinned. "Gods, yes," she replied.

The brunette took Kiaran's hand and led her inside, closing the door behind them.

* * *

The next morning, Kiaran regrouped with the others at the Gummi Ship. Sora glared at her from his place at the ramp, arms crossed indignantly over his chest.

"Where _were_ you?" he demanded. "I almost thought the zombies had returned and gotten you!"

Kiaran merely gave him a smug grin. She picked up the skirt of her borrowed peasant dress and all but waltzed past him, humming a happy tune. Sora stared at her. She'd obviously been somewhere over night; she was clean, hair brushed and free of blood. As she passed him, Sora noticed a couple of bite marks and bruises on his friend's neck. His eyes widened.

"What the--?" he squeaked. "What were you up to?"

Kiaran turned her head, smug grin widened. "Do you really want to know?"

Sora thought about it. "No," he decided. "No, I don't. I _really_ don't."

Kiaran giggled and disappeared into the Gummi Ship, leaving Sora to wonder just when the story stopped being about him and started being about Kiaran and her…adventures.

**-End-**

**Author's Note:** Probably one of the more stranger things I've ever written and I apologize to anyone who didn't appreciate the obvious one-night-stand Kiaran has with the girl from the ball. I'll make up for it eventually with some Riku/Sora in the actual storyline.


	9. VII: Place Your Bets!

_**Author's Note:** So I'm apparently getting my muses back in gear after that Extra chapter I posted last week. Now, then. This chapter, we have a bit of drama to go through, but I assure you, we'll be back to our usual insanity before you know it!  
__**Warnings:** Veeeeery minor hints at Leon/Cloud towards the end of the chapter.  
__**Disclaimer:** Nope, I still don't own them._

Chapter Seven: Place Your Bets

"What do you mean, take a break?" Kiaran asked.

Sora shifted uncomfortably. He had hoped Donald or maybe Goofy would tell Kiaran what the plan was, but, of course, he'd pulled the short straw (quite literally; that's how they decided who was going to tell her). He crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at Kiaran. Then he cringed back. Kiaran glared down at him, her hands on her hips.

"Explain yourself, Sora," Kiaran said, her eyes narrowed behind her glasses.

"W-well," Sora began. "Donald, Goofy and I were talking and, uh, we thought that maybe you needed to take a break and rest up for a while. I mean, you were kidnapped by pirates and, you know, that kind of trauma could take a while to recover from and…" he paused and cringed again. "Please don't hurt me."

"So you're getting rid of me?" the burgundy-haired woman asked.

Sora opened his mouth to protest, then slumped his shoulders and heaved a sigh. "Yeah."

Kiaran gave a sigh of her own and sat down on her bed. "That's it, then. I'm through."

Sora approached Kiaran and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's not forever, you know. We'll come back for you after we finish with Organization Thirteen."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, we will," Sora countered. "Kiaran, we just don't want you to get hurt. Stay with Leon and the others until we come back for you. Help them out. They could use a hand."

Kiaran snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"C'mon, Kiaran," Sora said. "I promise. We'll be back for you soon."

"Whatever."

Sora shrugged and turned to head to the cockpit of the gummi ship. He let the door close behind him and went to sit down. Goofy looked over at him and scratched his head.

"So, uh, how'd it go?"

"I think she's upset about it," Sora said, slouching in his chair. "Do we really have to leave her there?"

"She's in more trouble traveling with us than she'd be if she stayed with Leon and the others," Donald told him. "She can handle herself against the Heartless, but we can't keep an eye on her when we're fighting. We don't need someone to baby-sit."

"I know, but…"

"Sora," Donald began, sounding exasperated. "You agreed we'd give her another chance before we went to Atlantica. She blew it."

"Well, it's not as if we _told_ her we were only giving her that chance," Sora said.

"Sora's right, Donald," Goofy spoke up. "And there wasn't really much she could do to prove herself there."

"Can't we give her one more chance, somewhere she can actually do something to prove she can be helpful?" Sora asked.

"No!" Donald insisted. "She had her chance. We're taking her to Hollow Bastion and she's staying there!"

Sora sighed. "Alright. But we _will_ come back for her sometime, right?"

Donald didn't answer. He just continued to push buttons to input the coordinates to Hollow Bastion into the ship's computer. Sora leaned forward and frowned at him.

"Right, Donald?" he repeated.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

Yuffie, Aerith, Leon and Cid were gathered around the table, enjoying some of Merlin's "good old-fashioned home cooking" while they took a break from the restoration of their town. Granted, with Merlin's food, it was questionable whether it was actually cooked or if the old wizard had used his magic to make it. Either way, it was nourishing, it was tasty and it filled them up. Aerith had invited Cloud to come in and share the meal, but the blond man had taken one look at Leon, who was already heading inside at the time, and shook his head before turning to head out of town.

Aerith had been a little disappointed that Cloud hadn't joined them, but she was pleased that Merlin's food wouldn't go to waste. As Cloud was leaving, Sora, Donald and Goofy came by, bringing with them the young woman that had recently joined them on their journey. Aerith smiled at the group and welcomed them back to Hollow Bastion.

"We're just here to drop off Kiaran," Donald replied. He pushed the reluctant young woman forward.

Aerith blinked in confusion. "Is something wrong?"

Kiaran said nothing in response. She merely folded her arms over her chest and turned away from Sora and the others. There was a distinctly miffed pout on her lips as she stood with her back to her companions. This, in no way, helped Aerith's confusion. The brunette stepped over to Kiaran and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Kiaran, do you want some lemonade or something?" she asked. "We can talk, if you'd like."

Kiaran gave a shake of her head. She pulled away from Aerith and went over to sit near Cid, at the computer in the corner of the room. The blond man told her swiftly not to touch anything, but otherwise made no objection. Aerith gave a resigned sigh and turned to Sora.

"Is there a reason why you're leaving her behind?"

Sora gave an apologetic grimace. "Well, I didn't want to, but Donald and Goofy think she'd be safer here. We don't want her to get hurt and, you know, she's prone to getting herself in trouble."

Aerith, having heard stories from all of her traveling friends, including Kiaran, had heard more than one tale of the burgundy-haired girl's misadventures. She gave an understanding nod and smiled softly at Sora. "We'll take care of her, Sora. Don't worry."

"Thanks, Aerith," Sora said.

With that, Sora headed out of the house, Donald and Goofy following. Aerith turned back to the group behind her and let her gaze fall on Kiaran. She informed the younger woman that they had some food, if she'd like to join them, but Kiaran remained in her seat. Aerith returned to her seat with a worried expression set on her face.

After lunch, Leon, Yuffie and Aerith went out to get back to their work. While the town was beginning to have life in it once again, it was far from being restored to its former glory. The trio had sworn to bring it back to the thriving garden city that it had been before the Heartless had attacked many years ago. They left Cid, Merlin and Kiaran at the house to do as they would for the next few hours.

Merlin was busy restoring his house to its own old duty as a place of the study of magic. Cid worked diligently at his computer, bringing up blueprints and programs to help him figure the best ways to get Hollow Bastion rebuilt and how best to protect it from future attacks. Since the Heartless were still around, there was always the chance of the city being torn back down. With the Claymore Defense System, the citizens were safer, but there were still flaws in the system.

Kiaran watched from her seat next to Cid. Her blue-gray eyes were focused on the screen as Cid typed codes into the program. Cid made use of the young woman, asking her occasionally to look on one of the bookshelves for texts he needed or to get him a drink. The burgundy-haired woman complied, figuring that, if nothing else, she was at least being somewhat useful.

As she brought him a tall glass of lemonade, flavored with a bit of brandy on Cid's request, Kiaran checked over the blueprints on the screen. "So, what are you going to do about Ansem's lab in the castle?"

Cid turned to her, one eyebrow arched in suspicion. "What're you talkin' about?"

Kiaran, going over what she knew of Kingdom Hearts from the multiple times she'd played the game, realized that Cid and the others likely hadn't gone to the castle yet to discover the computer. She gave an awkward frown. "Well, Ansem was doing research on the Heartless, wasn't he? We know that from the reports that we've found. He has to have a lab somewhere, right?"

Cid took the lemonade Kiaran offered him. "I reckon he might. You know anythin' about it?"

"Uh…"

Before she could reply, the door to the house opened. Leon stepped inside, Aerith just behind him. The two of them stepped up behind Cid.

"Cid, we found something at the castle," Leon announced.

Cid spun his chair around to face the brunet. "Would that 'something' happen to be Ansem's research lab, would it?"

Leon, in a brief slip, looked surprised. "How did you--?"

Cid jerked his thumb at Kiaran. "She mentioned something 'bout a lab."

Aerith's gaze shifted to the burgundy-haired woman. "How did you know about it?"

"Lucky guess?" Kiaran shrugged.

"S'more than that," Cid muttered. "You know it's there, doncha?"

Kiaran slumped in defeat. "Yeah, I do."

Leon crossed his arms over his chest. "I think this is a bit suspicious, Cid. Kiaran joins up with Sora out of nowhere, claims she's pre-cognitive, and she has this knowledge of research labs that no one else has even heard of."

Kiaran glared at him. "Hey, now, if you go back and read the story, I have never once claimed to be a pre-cog. Everyone just makes the assumption."

Here, Leon, Cid and Aerith all looked at Kiaran in confusion. Kiaran promptly ignored them. She headed for the door, pushing roughly past Leon as she did and left the house. Leon and Cid exchanged glances as Aerith ran out the door to catch up with Kiaran.

"Leave me alone," Kiaran told the other woman.

"And let you get hurt, wandering by yourself?" Aerith asked. "I'd rather not."

"I don't need a baby-sitter. I'm an adult, despite how I act."

Aerith reached forward and got her hand wrapped around Kiaran's wrist. "I know," she said. "But you're upset and that's what might get you hurt."

"I'm _fine_," Kiaran huffed.

"No, you're not," Aerith countered. "You're hurt that Sora and the others left you behind. You're upset that you have no place to go, no where you fit in."

"You sound like my high school guidance counselor."

"I just want to help."

"I just want to be left alone with my music, a sketchbook and a big bottle of Mountain Dew," Kiaran retorted. She paused, thought for a moment, then gave a sigh. "Actually, what I want right now is a hug."

"That I can give," Aerith told her, a soft smile over her lips. She pulled Kiaran in for a tight hug, resting her chin on the slightly taller woman's shoulder. "If you need anything else, I'm here for you."

"Thanks," the burgundy-haired woman replied, giving a slight smile of her own.

* * *

That evening, after everyone was finished for the day, Aerith, Yuffie and Kiaran were sitting back at Aerith's small house. The brunette's house was just next to Merlin's, so it was easy to get back and forth between the two houses. As Yuffie and Kiaran relaxed in the living room, Aerith put a kettle of water on to boil for tea and went about preparing sandwiches to go with the soup she'd left to simmer over the afternoon.

Yuffie had sprawled across the couch with one of her manga and was happily reading. Kiaran was curled up in one of the big, comfy chairs, staring at the far wall with vague interest. For several minutes, no words were spoken between the three women. It was simply a quiet, relaxing evening.

"Hey, Yuffie?" Kiaran asked suddenly.

The ninja girl looked up from her manga. "Hm?"

"How do you feel about a round of naked mud-wrestling?"

A smirk appeared on Yuffie's face. "I'd beat you in less than two minutes."

"You sure about that?" Kiaran grinned. "I have twin sisters at home. If I can last ten minutes with them, I can last more than two with you."

"You want to bet?" Yuffie challenged.

Aerith, having overheard the conversation, gave a flustered blush. "Girls, I don't think that's a good idea."

Yuffie and Kiaran blissfully ignored the embarrassed brunette, continuing to discuss the wrestling match. Within a few minutes, the simple challenge had mutated into an all-out bout. Before Aerith could protest any further, both Kiaran and Yuffie had rushed out of the house to search for a suitable referee.

By sunset, the betting pools were open.

* * *

"This is crazy."

Leon stood as far in the back of the gathered crowd as he could. He was leaning against one of the broken down walls surrounding the town, arms crossed over his chest as he tried desperately not to look in Yuffie and Kiaran's direction. He could tell from the shouts and whistles of the numerous men that had surrounded the two young women that the match had already started.

"You're telling me," a soft voice replied.

Leon lifted his head to see the spiky-haired blond that stood not too far away. Cloud was looking at the group of cheering men with a look of bored disgust. He turned to Leon, focusing sharp, unnaturally blue eyes on the other man. Leon furrowed his brow, a frown tugging ever so slightly on his lips.

"What are you doing here?" the brunet asked.

Cloud gave a slight shrug. "Saw a commotion going on and thought I'd check it out. I didn't expect to see Yuffie and Sora's friend in a wrestling match."

"A _naked_ mud-wrestling match," Leon corrected, cocking a brow in repulsion.

Cloud glanced at the crowd. "With such a crowd, the Heartless are bound to show up. The defense system wouldn't be much help with such a situation."

"Well, then the group will be thankful they've got us around."

The cheers grew to a near-deafening volume as the match grew more intense. Leon and Cloud were forced to move several feet away, still within distance to get back, should the Heartless attack. Aerith had locked herself in Merlin's house, too embarrassed to come out while her two house-mates wrestled. She'd stated that she'd have lunch ready whenever the match was over, then pulled the door closed as Yuffie and Kiaran started stripping.

Leon and Cloud were nearly matched in the way they held themselves as they watched the walls for any sudden, unwelcome movement. Between the cheers and the yelps from Kiaran and Yuffie, no one would be able to hear the Claymore Defense System should it kick in to fight off Heartless.

"Yuffie! You're not supposed to grab _there!_" Kiaran's voice bounced off the walls over the din of the cheering crowd.

"I can grab wherever I want!"

Cloud groaned and put his head in his hands. "This is ridiculous."

"You want to get through that crowd and break them up, be my guest," Leon told him.

"I'm not going anywhere _near_ either of them for the rest of my life."

Leon smirked slightly in amusement. His peripheral vision caught movement in a corner, unnatural movement and he drew his gunblade. Cloud, also catching the movement of the Heartless in the square, drew his own blade. The cheers from the crowd died as yells of surprise and fear rose. The Heartless, indeed drawn in by the crowd, leapt to the attack. Cloud and Leon both moved in for the defense of the crowd, aided by the town's Claymores.

Match drawn, Yuffie and Kiaran scrambled for their weapons, which lay nearby in a pile with their clothes. Neither young woman willing to fight Heartless naked, the two of them struggled with their clothes while simultaneously using their weapons to fend off attacks. The crowd of men had scattered, running to find shelter or fetch weapons.

The fight against the Heartless was quick; with the crowd dispersed, many Heartless simply vanished, presumably to find victims elsewhere. Yuffie, Kiaran, Cloud and Leon fought off the remaining Heartless, cutting down the dark creatures one after the other. When the last of them were gone, the four humans glanced around to double check that the coast was clear before putting their weapons away.

"Well, that was fun," Kiaran murmured. She was still covered in mud, her clothes thrown on messily (and she noted absently that she was actually wearing Yuffie's shirt) and she had a sheen of sweat from the fight.

"Yeah," Yuffie agreed, leaning forward, hands on her knees to keep herself propped up. "So I win then."

Kiaran twisted her head to glare at Yuffie. "That was totally a draw!"

"I had you in a headlock when the Heartless interrupted!" Yuffie protested. "One second more and you'd have been out!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

Cloud rolled his eyes as the two girls started arguing over the outcome of their match. He pushed his spiky blond bangs out of his face and turned to leave the square. Leon gave a soft sigh of exasperation, then followed Cloud, grabbing the other man's arm to stop him.

"What do you want?" Cloud asked.

"Why don't you come over to Aerith's with me?" Leon asked. "You can grab a bite to eat before you head off to gods only know where."

Cloud glared at him slightly. "I'd rather not."

Leon let his eyes slip shut for a brief moment. "Look, Cloud, I know you don't like me, but Aerith worries about you. At least come in and let her know you're doing okay."

Cloud pulled his arm out of Leon's grip sharply. "Don't presume anything about me, Leonhart," he all but snarled at the brunet. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the square.

Leon let his gaze follow the blond man for a moment before he turned away. For Aerith's sake, he'd been trying to get along with Cloud, who the brunette cared a lot for. Every time he tried to even talk to Cloud, the other man would glare at him. The brief conversation earlier, if one could even call their exchange a real conversation, had been the most he'd ever spoken to Cloud.

"Damn him, anyway," Leon muttered. Cloud was frustrating beyond all reason, but Leon honestly did want to get along with him, not just for Aerith's sake.

With a final glance back, Leon headed for Merlin's house. As he entered, he saw that Kiaran and Yuffie had moved their argument into the wizard's home and had dragged Cid into it. The older man was listening to each side of the argument, nodding his head when one of the girls said something that made sense to him.

"Well, now," he said once both Yuffie and Kiaran fell silent for his judgment. "T'be fair, the match ended when th'Heartless came in. Since neither of ye technically beat the other, I call a draw."

Kiaran smirked at Yuffie triumphantly as the ninja girl protested Cid's declaration. Cid's word was final, however and Yuffie went over to the table to sulk in silence.

"An' since it was a draw," Cid continued, "I say I won the bet."

Yuffie looked up at him. "You bet that we'd draw?"

"Yep," Cid laughed. "The both of ye are too stubborn to let the other one win."

"So you called a draw so you'd win the bet!" Yuffie exclaimed. "How is that fair judgment?!"

Leon shook his head as Yuffie began chasing Cid around the house, waving her shuriken around like a mad woman.

_**Author's Note:**__ We're going to stay with Kiaran while she's in Hollow Bastion. It won't last too long, but this is the point of the fic that I've been looking forward to since I started writing this thing. _


End file.
